Sometimes, as spiritual students, we do a “spiritual bypass.” If we’re experiencing something challenging and we jump right over our feelings to get to the spiritual truth, then we’re doing a “spiritual bypass.”
When our feelings don’t seem very spiritual, there’s a temptation to jump up into our head and intellectualize our experience rather than just have our feelings. That’s when we’re responding from the intellect, engaged by the ego, and thinking of what’s right and wrong, looking to fix things. It’s not helpful. And our feelings can help us recognize what we’re doing so we can make a higher choice.
I’ve had to learn how to respond with compassion rather than the judgment that is the undercurrent of seeing someone as needing fixing, needing help. I’ve had to learn how to respond with my heart rather than the intellect. My emotions of upset help me to recognize that I’m not in alignment and I can make a higher choice – and that’s actually being more loving with myself – and that’s going to bring forth healing.
Recognizing my feelings brings a healing.
It takes a great willingness to be present and to be vulnerable in order to respond with the heart rather than the intellect. And all it requires is our willingness to let Spirit lead us. It’s enough to just be willing to be willing to be willing. A little willingness is enough.
Have you ever felt that someone came to you with their suffering and you went right into fixing them, and right into the intellect? I have. I have experienced it being done to me and I have done it to others and both feel painful.
When we don’t have compassion for our own suffering, then we treat others the way we treat ourselves – seeing them as having a problem that needs to be fixed. Then they usually respond with feeling hurt and offended.
In this way, we get to see how we’re treating ourselves and why we’re so unhappy. We can witness how it feels to be treated as though we have a problem and are defective by observing how others feel when we talk to them from our intellect to their intellect rather than heart-to-heart.
Have you ever berated yourself when you’re having a difficult time and feel afraid? I have.
Isn’t it crazy that we would ever think for one second that chastising ourselves would somehow be a worthwhile choice?
Have you ever “should” all over someone because of your own insecurities? I HAVE!
And I’ve done it to myself! Most of us have tried to manipulate ourselves with the “shoulds”.
As I said, I had to LEARN how to respond with Love and compassion.
It’s worth learning.
It wasn’t easy for me.
It’s worth learning.
If you can relate, be willing to pay attention next time someone comes to you for comfort, and notice if you go to the heart or the intellect.
Do you try to fix them or solve their problem?
If so, you’re actually affirming they have a problem, and they might reject that, and in the process it may seem like they’re rejecting you.
Our feelings help us to recognize what’s really going on. Live and learn! Learn to Live!
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