I have a niece and three nephews, plus a goddaughter and other children in my life. Some of them aren’t children anymore. Loving them as they’re growing up, from infancy to adulthood, I’m aware of how completely I Love and accept them, although sometimes I don’t understand or don’t like their choices, the Love I feel is constant and unconditional.
As I observed these beautiful beings coming into my life and “falling in Love” with them, I realized that I was not so loving with myself. Where I wouldn’t judge them at all, I would be very hard on myself for the same behaviors. Having this realization really helped me.
In large part because of my Love for these children, I realized how incredibly hard on myself I was. I made a decision. I decided to do things differently.
I started to treat myself the way I would treat the precious children in my life. I began to practice Self-compassion in a big, big way. It was truy healing and life-changing for me.
One of the techniques that really helped me was to imagine my nephew Alex when he was 3 years old. He was such a cuddly sweet little muffin of a boy. He has a huge heart and so wide-open to life. He was incredibly easy to share Love with and he was very affectionate.
When I would feel upset with myself, I’d think of Alex. Precious boy. And I knew I would never, EVER in a million years yell at that sweet boy or say one unkind word to him. So, I decided to extend to myself the same kindness and compassion.
Again, it’s the decision that’s so important.
We are deciders.
Deciding is how we change our life.
Be willing to pause when you’re in a self-attack and think of someone you dearly Love. Someone who is so completely precious to you. Consider if you’d speak to them the way you’re speaking to yourself.
See if you can begin your self-talk with words like: Darling, sweetheart, precious one.
I would remind myself that I am the Beloved of the THE Beloved and my thoughts are powerful and precious. This one thought was very helpful to me in remembering to have compassion for myself.
Children learn best when they feel safe and loved, not when there’s a threat of punishment. The same is true of adults and ourselves. Love is our healer. Compassion is Love. Love is what we are.
The way to get in touch with our true identity is to value ourselves. It’s not that complicated.
The more loving we are, the more we can tell that the false belief feels false and the more we can notice that the Love feels real. Our willingness greatly improves our ability to recognize the true from the false. If we’re not willing to know the truth, we’ll just keep swimming in the false, until we feel like we’re drowning.
Self-compassion is a practice we can learn until we no longer feel attracted to punishment. The more we practice compassion with others, the easier it is to practice compassion with ourselves and vice versa.
Today’s a good day to practice!
My Spiritual Counseling Training Intensive is not just a professional training, it’s a deeply healing opportunity to let go of false beliefs. If you read the things people have said about how their lives change as a result, you will see that this is an opportunity for profound lasting personal healing. You can combine the Stop Playing Small Retreat with the Spiritual Counseling Training Intensive and get a discount! Plus we have payment plans and early bird special is on now!
If you’re willing, let’s do it together! Changing our lives and healing our minds is so much easier when we are the two or more gathered together for the same purpose. To this end, I’m offering another Spiritual Counseling Training Intensive in May and my Stop Playing Small retreat right before, at the end of this month.
I haven’t offered a Stop Playing Small Retreat in for a couple of years, so if this interests you, please join! We practice and learn Self-Love in Spiritual Community and it’s a powerful healing and life-changing experience. We can accomplish a lot in a short time when we come together focused on transformation!
We’re an expanding global spiritual community of prayerful people willing to be co-workers with God. We’re waking up together and finding freedom in our hearts. I’m so grateful for this!
If you find what I’m sharing is helpful won’t you please share at facebook and twitter to let’s other know? Thank you!