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We all have many mothers. There’s our birth mother and then there can sometimes be several women who help raise us plus grandmothers and aunties who feel like mothers. I have friends who are very maternal and are almost like a surrogate mother to me.
There’s Mom and then the Divine Mother. Each Mother has a role to play.
Sometimes we get a really great mother and sometimes our mother seems to be lacking. I know for many years I felt that my dear mother felt like a mixed bag to me. It took me a long, long time, to realize how completely perfect she was – for me. For a long time, I was ungrateful, and now I’m wholly grateful.
For a long time I blamed my mother for some of my “problems.” Now, I thank her for my opportunities. I’m so grateful for the teachings of A Course in Miracles which, through truly LIVING them, I’ve been able to transform my life, my perspective and, most importantly, my heart.
When my mother received a terminal illness diagnosis and was told she had a few months to live, I made the heart commitment that we would have a total healing in our relationship before she made her transition. I made it my top priority and I made it my total responsibility.
In self-help programs and in psychological therapy, I was told that I should only take 50% of the responsibility for the quality of my relationships. For me, it was a big shift to go from blaming the other person for ALL of my upset to taking 50% responsibility.
Through my spiritual practice, I came to realize that taking 100% responsibility with 0% blame is the way of healing. I did that with my Mom and I experienced a complete healing and transformation of our relationship before she made her transition.
I’d felt so much hurt, resentment and anger toward my mother, and a lot of it wasn’t even about her at all. It took me SO long to realize that I felt so GUILTY about being mean and unkind to mother, and I was projecting my guilt onto her and blaming her for that too – I didn’t even know it.
I will forever be grateful for the teachings of ACIM which helped me to have faith that the healing would happen. Fortunately, we had all the time we needed. She lived three years after that original diagnosis and about 2.5 years in, I had a total clearing of all the upset from the past. Yes, it was a miraculous and instantaneous experience that was 48 years in the making.
It was my commitment that brought it forth. The healing was so complete and so profound it propelled me to be even more dedicated to my healing, and to sharing with others.
Truly living A Course in Miracles has allowed me to hand over the resentment and regret that tortured me for decades. Making that shift from ungrateful to grateful in my relationship with my mother completely changed my life and my thinking. In a sense, it was the “making” of me.
In the Manual for Teachers, Chapter 4, Development of Trust, it says “It takes great learning to understand that ALL things events, encounters and circumstances are helpful.” It’s a giant breakthrough in awareness when one is willing to discover the Truth of that statement.
In my classes I say, Prove God in your life. Prove what’s true about God and you’ll never regret it. When we’re intent on the truth, that which is false easily falls away.
I was so completely dedicated to my opinions and yet I was still able to learn that the truth really does set you free. Are you willing to be free? Or do you in some way still blame others for your circumstances? Do you deny the learning in order to hold onto the judgment and then force yourself to repeat the lessons over and over? I did that so frequently.
If you’d like to give yourself a new relationship with your mother(s), you can. It’s easier than you think, but only if you’re truly willing to be loving – to be able to love without needing to get ANYTHING in return. Love is not a “give to get” experience, it’s your true nature revealed. Give the Higher Holy Spirit Self the heavy lifting – let Spirit undo all the consequences of your “wrong decisions” of the past.
BTW, I have done a couple of episodes about mothers on my weekly A Course in Miracles weekly Radio Show and you can search through the archive for episodes on whatever topic you’re interested in – there are so many on relationship and forgiveness.
I made this VIDEO a few years ago about my Mother’s Day Makeover and you can click below to watch it now.
And please pray with me! Prayer works! Joining together in prayer for our healing, for the active practice of joining with Spirit, and allowing my healing is precisely why every day I write inspiration and record a prayer to go with it. You can join me in cultivating the willingness that raises us ALL up so we can be truly helpful in this world.
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We’re an expanding global spiritual community of prayerful people willing to be co-workers with God. We’re waking up together and finding freedom in our hearts. I’m so grateful for this!
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