I can remember when I would have shock waves of fear that seemed to shoot through me like lightning waves. I’d have a thought that would produce a rush of adrenaline and an energetic shock that moved through me in a way that my heart would start racing instantly. The worst was late at night or first thing in the morning.
Once I had a mild panic attack that was a whole different kind of fear but felt almost foundational – like my very core was threatened.
If only someone could have told me then what I now know! And A Course in Miracles says it so well:
“All fear is ultimately reducible to the basic misperception that you have the ability to usurp the power of God.” ACIM T-2.I.4.
I understand that it seems hard to believe that all fear comes from judging, and from thinking thoughts that are untrue. It can seem as though fear comes from what’s happening in the world. It can seem like there’s a monster out there that’s upsetting us, but all of the causes or fear are in our own mind.
Our opinions are what’s frightening us. When we affirm our judgments and opinions we’re affirming that we’re the ones who decide who is good and who is bad, who is right and who is wrong, and in doing so we become the usurpers. We’re usurping God. We become guilty of spiritual patricide. And that’s really scary.
We can train our mind to see beyond appearances and recognize only the truth, or we can continue to learn to live with fear and bend ourselves to it’s uncomfortable distortions of reality. I move that we love ourselves enough to stop frightening ourselves and live in Peace.
Consider if there’s someone in your life that you really love and adore – would you yell at them? Frighten them? Torture them? Manipulate them?
You wouldn’t do those things if you truly loved them. Those behaviors have nothing to do with Love. They are the distorted behaviors that fear brings.
What judgment do you have that could possibly be worth holding onto when you know that it will cause your own suffering? Think of all the things you’ve done to try to end your suffering that haven’t really worked.
Would you try the one thing that actually works?
Or do you feel that you can have your judgments and the fear you experience is unrelated?
I don’t think I could have believed giving up my opinions would relieve me of fear. I only know that it works because I have been giving up my judgments as part of my daily spiritual practice for more than a decade and as a result, I don’t have much fear. Most of the fear I experience these days is annoyance.
I can’t remember the last time I felt one of those shock waves of fear, but I can remember feeling joyous and grateful yesterday. I feel grateful and thankful even now as I write this.
I let God be God. I am part of God, and I don’t need to judge anything or anyone anymore. I’m not interested in being a usurper. I prefer to feel free and harmonious ALL of the time. I am intent on it. I am closer to my goal every day! And for this, I am so very grateful! I am loving myself free of lack, attack and limitation. It’s happening now.
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