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One of the most helpful realizations I’ve had is that expectations almost inevitably lead to disappointments. Start to watch your mind. See if you don’t notice that every time you have a feeling of disappointment that you also had an expectation.
Expectations are optional.
Expectations are attachments.
All attachments create suffering all of the time.
Suffering is optional.
The ego mind attaches to expectations CONSTANTLY. You can PROFOUNDLY increase your happiness level by scanning your mind for expectations and releasing them. Living without attachments is a profoundly peaceful way to live. If you’re honestly interested in living a peaceful life, be willing to employ the means to get there.
If you’re not willing to work with your mind to release attachments you won’t experience the natural state of Peace that is your inheritance. All attachments disturb your experience of Peace all of the time.
If you have no expectations you have no disappointments! Isn’t that amazing! Isn’t that worth a bit of effort to clear out the expectations?
Scan your awareness right now and consider how many hours, days, weeks, months and years you have invested in feeling disappointed. How many disappointments have you let become resentments? Is that the way to Peace? Of course not.
This week I’m at my Dad’s house in Maine. My Dad loves to make blueberry pie and homemade ice cream. Last year, I asked that my piece of pie be saved so I could have it for breakfast. My family likes to eat late, and I didn’t feel like having a big dessert so close to my bedtime. In the morning I went to have my pie and found that none had been saved for me. I had a momentary sense of “uh,oh.” I’d been looking forward to it – not exactly an attachment, but pretty close. When there was no pie, I simply went on and had another delicious choice for my breakfast. I didn’t really have a strong sense of lack. (Although I did tease my family about not saving me a piece!)
What I didn’t do: I didn’t interpret the lack of pie to mean that my family didn’t care for me or respect me. Years ago, I would have made some negative meaning of it. I would have decided that it was further evidence to hold against my family for not properly loving me. Then I would have been upset. I would have taken myself out of the flow of love for hours, if not a whole day. I would have made something out of nothing and fashioned it to be like a knife in my heart to twist for maximum effect. What a giant waste of my life!
I’m so glad I don’t do these things anymore! What a huge relief! Look for the ways you make something out of nothing and go the other way. There is a better way!
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