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I used to get a perverse pleasure out of being upset. It made me feel alive. Honestly, there were times when I felt addicted to being angry.
Some people “enjoy” feeling like a victim. Enjoy may be too strong a word, but what I recall is that when I was upset, I felt I had some power. I could use my mood and emotion to control and manipulate people. I enjoyed the feeling of aliveness that upset brought me. Yet, always, at the edge of my awareness, was a knowing that there would be a backwash of fear and suffering caused by my knowingly and actively making such unloving choices.
I still find that temptation arises when things are not as I wish them to be. I can still sometimes feel a temptation to try to prod and poke people to get them to do what I’d like when I feel upset. I’m still clearing that out.
A Course in Miracles taught me that I’m never upset for the reason I think. I’m always upset when I judge. So, I know that being upset is optional because being judgmental is optional. I choose Love.
The pattern is to judge, then feel upset, and then look to blame it on the world because the cause is outside of myself. That’s the ego pattern that keeps the belief in separation in place. A belief in separation is the cause of ALL suffering.
Do you really wish to contribute to the suffering of the world in order to feel powerful and alive for a moment? Isn’t feeling connected in Love PROFOUNDLY more enlivening?
Anger is helpful to us if we have fallen asleep in our misery. It helps to wake us up and make a higher choice. I remember feeling that it was all I had.
Feeling upset serves a holy purpose. It allows to recognize where we are CHOOSING TO SUFFER and, if we’re willing to Love ourselves even a little, we’ll have the awareness that we can choose Love and compassion.
Look at Gandhi, King, Jesus and so many others who have taught us the power of Love over anger, force, accusation, judgment, resentment and revenge. Those lesser choices are so familiar they can actually feel good to the physical and emotional body, to the mental body, because they’re familiar and the ego loves familiar.
Love can feel disorienting.
Compassion can seem crazy.
And this is why so many people choose the thoughts that make them feel sick.
All healing is at the level of the mind.Healing requires a willingness to trust in Love.
A little willingness is all that’s required to heal a thousand lifetimes of being judgmental and cherishing attack thoughts.
Surrender the habit of upset.
Recognize it can be very addictive.
When we align with LOVE, as the one and only power and authority in our life, everything starts to heal. Love only knows itself as Love and only expresses itself as Love.
Love can NEVER cause upset. Love is the author of Love and nothing else. Therefore Love is the only healer of any illness or problem. If the problem persists, increase the dosage. Make Love the only authority in your mind.
I’m so grateful for every experience I’ve ever had that I could choose to learn from including my experiences of romantic partnership. OurA Living Course in Miracles class series is on Holy Relationships and our topic this week is having a Holy Relationship with Spouse and Partner. Won’t you join me? Classes are free – but you do have to register. Please click here to register now!