Walking UP! Part 3 – Something’s Wrong With Me

May 9, 2014

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In Part 2 of this series on Waking UP! I shared about how I became disillusioned with the illusion. Dis-Illusioned. Life had always felt like a surreal dream to me, and now it felt even more so. I felt as though I was watching myself all of the time. A lot of the time I literally felt as though I was watching a movie. I had that dreamlike deja vu feeling a lot of my life, but now it was even more like I was watching myself in a movie. Can you relate to that?

Now, I understand that back then i was intensely shifting from being identified with the ego/body and identifying more with Spirit. It was a major shift and it made me feel very strange for quite a while.

At the time, I felt like there was something wrong with me, I didn’t understand what was going on. Who could I turn to that understood?

“Something’s wrong with me” had been the theme of my life. I was utterly convinced that something was completely wrong with me. I had felt that way as long as I could remember. I didn’t know WHAT was wrong, but something definitely was. I felt like I was so different from other people.

Some people have this “something’s wrong with me” belief as one of the following:

I’m not good enough
I’m unlovable
I’m bad
I’m unworthy

My strongest belief was that something was completely and utterly wrong with me. It influenced everything. I was always either fighting it, hiding it, self-medicating it or running from it. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it was there. Haunting my every move.

I’m so grateful that now I know that belief was utterly false. How did I get to this awareness?

I decided to believe that there’s nothing wrong with ANYONE.
I decided to awaken to the awareness of ALL IS ONE.
In my willingness to step into a Unity consciousness and drop the stinkin’ separation thinkin’, I discovered that there’s nothing wrong with anyone and therefore there’s nothing wrong with me.

All healing IS at the level of the mind.

At the time, it felt like iId never heal that belief that something was wrong with me, but I decided to choose to do it and make that my #1 priority.

KEY to my healing was that I had to stop blaming anyone for how I felt. In doing that, I began to see that this belief of something being wrong with me was a belief I brought with me into this lifetime. In this human experience of illusion, because of the Law of Cause & Effect, we can only ever experience what we believe. That’s all we get, until we learn to value the Truth.

I projected that belief of “something’s wrong with me” onto the screen of my life. My family mirrored it back to me. I thought they gave it to me, but they didn’t. They showed it to me. I couldn’t have gotten the belief from them – not in this lifetime. In this lifetime, for me, and probably for you, it’s all about healing the karma. Negative karma IS our false beliefs. All beliefs are false. Truth is true and is not a belief system. Truth is eternal and never varies. Beliefs are constantly changing.

My decision to take responsibility for my beliefs gave me the power to heal them. I learned to be deeply grateful for my family’s willingness to act out my belief system with me and FOR me, to help me address and heal it. THANK YOU, GOD for the Law of Cause & Effect which is always working for us!

My willingness to take responsibility, drop the blame and be grateful for my experience ALLOWED me to forgive and to harvest the learning from all my painful experiences. I unlocked the treasure chest of Divine Wisdom when I decided to take those three steps:

Forgiveness – Non Judgment

These are your power tools! Activate them as soon as you’re interested in your awakening!!

If today’s Spiritual Espresso is helpful to you – won’t you please share it at facebook?

Mother’s Day in the United States is this weekend – how about a little forgiveness help? Check out yesterday’s Spiritual Espresso on Mother’s Day Forgiveness. You can watch the video I made!

Would you like more help? How about 2 free classes this week?
Our topic is Holy Relationship with Children
Check out my 8 more free classes available for you right now at LivingACourseinMiracles.com

Suffering IS optional – no matter what your experience has been in this world. Healing is what we’re talking about in Living A Course in Miracles. This week I’m sharing about discovering the holy relationship with children – and we’ve got two free classes for you. If you or anyone you know is struggling with their relationships, won’t you let them know these classes are free?

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