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Thursday in my live Stop Wrecking Your Relationships class I was coaching people who had called in and one woman was talking about how she says “yes” when she means “no.” She also says “no” when she means “yes.” I get it. Many of us do this.
Very often we saw our parents and grandparents behave this way and so we learned that it’s normal. Some of us learned that it’s polite – it’s good manners to hide your true feelings and preferences.
Now, let me share with you something very personal. I used to have such a strong sense of insecurity that in my relationships I often would give ultimatums. The very instant that I felt threatened and insecure, I’d throw out an ultimatum.
Every ultimatum was something like this: My way or the highway, dude!
Every time I felt threatened in ANY kind of relationship, my immediate knee-jerk response was – “you can go, NOW!” or “I’m outta here, NOW!!!”
I often felt like a little child throwing a temper tantrum. I felt painfully stuck in a very intense fight or flight mode and it didn’t serve my path of LOVE at all. It felt so spiritually immature, but it taught me a lot about how I do not wish to live and how I don’t like to be treated.
If you feel compelled to make ultimatum’s to your loved ones, take some time to nurture the inner child that’s flailing and feeling wounded and frightened.
If your loved one is making ultimatum’s to you, have compassion and be willing to ask them how you can support them to feel more like their true Self.
The more I walk this path of awakening and self-love, the more I find that it’s SO much more loving to EVERYONE to be able to be honest with kindness.
Honest with kindness is saying “right now, I’m feeling like I have to cut and run, and give you an ultimatum. It doesn’t feel good. I’m struggling and feeling threatened. I could use a time out with cuddling!” – or your version of that. Try it and see what happens!
Today I’m offering an encore of my Stop Wrecking Your Relationships class – my gift to you. You can join me live and please bring your questions – it’s a live coaching call!
Now is the time for our deepest healing. Let’s do it together!
TODAY: That’s why I’m offering a free class TODAY – you can register now for my class: Stop Wrecking Your Relationships! This class is my gift, but you do have to register to join me – and I’ll be doing live coaching on the call, so come and bring your questions!
We’re waking up together and I’m so grateful for that! If you’re finding what I’m sharing to be helpful won’t you please share at Facebook and twitter to let others know? Thank you!