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It’s a fact of life that feeling insecure comes from being critical and judgmental. It doesn’t matter at all whether you’re judging yourself or someone else. The one who is judgmental, critical, and complaining is going to feel off-balance, insecure and it has nothing to do with anything that someone else is doing in the world.
When people are upset and they’ld like to make it my fault I have two choices:
I can have compassion
I can be defensive
Only one of those choices is the loving choice.
Even if someone is REALLY upset and they are completely convinced that it’s my fault, it never is. And, it’s never anyone else’s fault when I’m upset.
If I’m bothered it’s always because I’m choosing to think unloving thoughts and I don’t have to. No one else is making me think unloving thoughts. It’s entirely my choice. No one else has power over my thoughts.
I have free will.
I’ve seen it thousands of times, literally – thousands of times, that people (myself included) start blaming others for their upset and then they immediately start to spiral down into depression, self-medication, and what seems like tough times.
Holding onto anger, resentment and upset is a negative activity that seems to occupy a person’s field of energy. Because like attracts like, they seem to attract more negativity.
It’s amazing how fast things can turn into a really difficult situation when people who know better give in to investing into bitterness.
I learned this the hard way – through causing my own suffering – repeatedly!
When people focus on making loving, kind, forgiving choices, then, because like attracts like, they start to feel more in the flow of good things happening.
One thing that really helps is to pay attention to how things feel.
If it doesn’t feel good – reconsider
“Follow your bliss,” as Joseph Campbell taught us.
You can think of negativity, blame and shame, like vermin.
Would you let vermin take up residence in your home?
Or would you get them out?
Taking things personally is not a given, it’s a choice.
The person who treats you unkindly probably treats themselves unkindly.
Their reaction is a cry for Love and compassion, and isn’t that what you’d like to be able to offer?
So many people SAY they’d like to be more loving,
but when the time comes,
they don’t choose Love.
Let’s walk our talk.
Let’s decide to be always available to extend compassion.
The more ready I am to be loving, the less it’s required.
I used to need a bucket full of patience to get through my day without becoming upset, but now, I just need a little bit. Ain’t that sweet?
Practice, practice, practice.
People ask me how to live a more joyFULL life – the one answer I know is practice all day every day. When you fall down, get back up again and dust yourself off with kindness.
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