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Rebel Rebel, that great song by David Bowie, was and is a favorite of mine. I used to be such a rebel, but not anymore. If anyone told me to do something, my ego would automatically reject it.
“No one tells ME what to do.”
Identified with the ego as I was, I thought that rebelliousness was my true nature. It was my identity, “I’m a rebel.” Truth is, I’m not a rebel. Not at all. Some people experience the ego predominantly as a rebel, or as a coward or as show off, or whatever false identity seemed to work for them at some point in time.
When I was younger, I managed to hold on to my strong sense of self by not letting anyone boss me around. I internalized the boss in terms of my ego. As I got into my 20’s I began to identify the most intense part of the ego as “Helga the nazi.” Helga got me to wake up at 5:00 in the morning to go out for a run on a cold dark New York City morning, and do a thousand other things to build my discipline.
If I said, to my Self, “I’m not going to have any of those brownies,” Helga would sneak up on me and start whispering to me saying, “you can do whatever you like, no one is the boss of you. You have that brownie if you really want. Go for it.” Next thing I knew, I’d have THREE brownies. Helga had a way of working with me to completely override my self discipline for loving myself and taking good care of myself. I always chalked it up to the “inner rebel” that I falsely believed was my true nature. Live and learn.
For several years, I directly confronted Helga and softened my experience of my “alter ego.” She transformed into Heidie.
As I began to focus more deeply on my spiritual growth I noticed that the rebel ego would rebel against my Spirit, my TRUE Self, the REAL me whenever I was trying to take really good care of myself.
When I deepened my spiritual practice with prayer and contemplation, when I began to practice true forgiveness all day long and consciously commit to releasing judgments, then I began to make real headway and the rebelliousness disappeared. Compassion dissolved the false rebel identity. Compassion IS Love. Love is the healer. It really is the ONLY healer.
I’m aware that in participating in the 40 days of rebooting in our Pray & Clear that some people are getting triggered by the idea of giving things up. The ego is pulling the old “rebel rebel” and it can be intense. That’s where our spiritual practice of prayer comes in. That’s when you can go back to the list of things I gave you to do in case of freaking out – click to Day 6.
Spiritual practice SAVES time that would otherwise be spent in suffering.
Invest in spiritual practice rather than in suffering.
I truly have learned that the ego will convince you that giving things up is suffering. And yet if you put the ego in charge of your life, the ego will deprive you of every good thing – now, that’s Suffering! Aligning with your Higher Holy Spirit Self you’ll reclaim everything. Seek first the kingdom, which is within, and ALL else will be added unto you. What part of “ALL else” don’t we understand?
I’ve learned that giving things up that the ego thinks it needs brings me back to what’s really important. Less is WAY more. Giving up the attachments to a million little things, including eating foods that leave us feeling sick and tired, is not a loss, it’s a gain.
Remember, Love/God is all there is. If we’re rebelling and resisting caring for ourselves, we’re only resisting our own happiness and release from suffering!
I en-courage you to find the courage to make a list of things that if, when you give them up, you’ll experience more vitality, more Love, more Peace, more Joy, more Beauty and more Freedom. Make that list and then start to REPLACE the things that suck you dry of your vitality and radiance for things that help restore your well-being! Release and replace. That’s SO different from giving things up or feeling deprived. NOW is the perfect time to begin. What could be more important?
If you’re challenged to abstain from certain foods and beverages, if you feel bothered by it, frustrated or upset by the thought of doing without, or even if you feel the cravings are too intense, consider this:
Nothing tastes as good as Joy feels!
I’m absolutely LOVING your insights, breakthroughs and prayer requests in our facebook group. It’s a loving and compassionate space for all of us. The posting has been SO meaningful and very HELPFUL!
How about chocolate pudding for breakfast! Here’s a simple chocolate pudding recipe for you chocolate lovers:
From the Clean Team
2 avocados, pitted
1/2 cup carob or raw cacao powder
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon sea salt
3 dates, pitted
2 tablespoons almond butter
1 1/2 cups water (or as much as you need)
add cacao nibs for an extra dose of crunchy, chocolaty texture and energetic kick
extra protein version: Add a tablespoon of protein powder like Nourish
Directions: Blend in food processor or blender until creamy. Chill in refrigerator for at least 1 hour.
Filled with antioxidants, healthy fat, and it’s chocolate! Enjoy!
If you’re finding what I’m sharing to be helpful won’t you please share at facebook and twitter to let others know? Thank you!
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