Day 14: Self-Forgiveness

March 1, 2016

From my heart to yours!

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I’ve been teaching forgiveness since 2000 and one thing I learned in the very first workshop I taught is that true forgiveness is about the release of judgment. People will come to me and say “I’ve forgiven this so many times, why can’t I let it go and have peace?” The reason is because the judgment is still there.

True forgiveness is non-judgment. It happens in the heart when we’re willing to let go of the meaning that we made of something and open ourselves to the hidden lesson. As long as we continue to judge, the learning is postponed and we must keep repeating the lesson until we are willing to receive the learning. We can’t harvest the learning from our experiences until we’re willing to release the judgment and come back into our heart.

It used to be when I made a mistake, I would judge myself. I discovered that part of that judgment was a punishment to keep me from repeating the mistake. Of course it didn’t work. What you dwell on, you ARE mentally repeating and painfully too.

I discovered that I believed that if I could judge myself, I could preempt other people’s judgment and it felt like some kind of protection, but of course it wasn’t. It was just self-attack.

A real life-changer for me was realizing that if I forgive myself, release all self-judgment and chose Love and kindness instead, then there is more Love being expressed in the world, in my life, by me and that’s a healing thing. That realization became my inspiration to stop judging myself and to become committed to loving myself free of all self-attack.

Very quickly I began to feel noticeably lighter. People began to notice the change in me. It was a game changer.

From there I learned that instead of mistakes, they’re tactical errors. I learn from my tactical errors. I’m a learner and I like learning, so tactical errors are part of the natural learning process. They’re not a bad thing. They’re actually helpful in many ways. They’re learning opportunities.

We all make choices that later we realize are tactical errors. If we can approach all the errors as helpful learning opportunities then there’s no need of judgment. Judgment prevents learning.

We can Love and appreciate ourselves for our learning ability. Love is the healer, so then there’s more healing and more Love and that’s a really great thing!

So, I made the decision not to judge myself no matter what. That became my bottom line. It changed my life.

If you make a tactical error, practice Love and Self-Compassion. I call it “live and learn.” I say “that’s life.” These small things are not so small when you realize it completely changed my life.

What have you labeled a mistake that you’re still beating yourself up for that you could turn into a game changer? Are you willing?

Forgiveness is a necessary tool for our healing.

If you make a tactical error during our Pray & Clear just remember to Love yourself through it. We’re clearing out the habits of self-attack and replacing them with Self-compassion and kindness. We did what we did because it was the best we could do and now we’re moving on.

Forgiveness is non-judgment and it’s the most important spiritual practice there is.

Spiritual practice SAVES time that would otherwise be spent in suffering.
Invest in spiritual practice rather than in suffering.

I’m absolutely LOVING your insights, breakthroughs and prayer requests in our facebook group. People are having a variety of experiences. Whatever your experience is, each one’s sharing is meaningful and helpful to others. It’s a loving and compassionate space for all of us. The posting has been SO beautiful and very HELPFUL!

If you’re tempted to go off the cleanse, if you feel bothered by it, frustrated or upset by the thought of doing without, or even if you feel the cravings are too intense, consider this:

Nothing tastes as good as Joy feels!

On the detox side of life: As we move into the detox you’ll be eliminating some citrus fruits such as oranges and grapefruit and nightshades such as potatoes, peppers, egg plant, and tomatoes – Strawberries too. They’re all more acidic and that doesn’t support our detox process. It’s just temporary!

Here’s a really fun meal that’s totally delicious and fun! It’s not that difficult and a real treat! Enjoy!

Fish Tacos!
From the Clean Chef Franky G – Serves 2

8-12 ounces firm white fish (hake, halibut, cod)
½ cup coconut milk
¾ cup shredded coconut
1 tablespoon curry powder
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 small red onion
2 tablespoons brown rice vinegar
1 tablespoon coconut nectar
pinch sea salt

Directions: Prepare this ahead of time if possible, by thinly slicing the red onion to mix in a bowl with the vinegar, coconut nectar and sea salt. Allow to marinate or “pickle” for up to 24 hours if you can. If you’re short on time, an hour is fine too, it just won’t have the same zing to it!


1 ripe mango, peeled and diced into ½ inch cubes
⅛ cup cilantro, roughly chopped
2 teaspoons grated ginger root (peeled)
fresh squeezed juice and zest of 1 lime

4 large lettuce leaves (as shells), any kind works, we like romaine best!

Directions: Skin the fish and cut into ½ thick slices. Dunk each piece in the coconut milk, then into the curry-coconut mixture. Coat all the sides of the fish with the mixture until they’re well covered. Cook each mixture in coconut oil over medium heat until both sides brown up (flipping in the middle of the cooking), the crumbs are golden and fish is cooked through. You could also bake in the oven at 350°F for 10-15 minutes if you prefer. Make the mango salsa by blending the mango pieces, cilantro, ginger and fresh lime juice and zest together in a blender, leaving a few of the mango chunks out if you want some extra texture. To serve, lay out 4 large lettuce leaves. Fill each leaf with the cooked fish. Apply generous dollops of the mango salsa, then top with the pickled red onions. If you’re a fan of extra spice, sprinkle with chipotle or chili powder for added kick.

If you’re finding what I’m sharing to be helpful won’t you please share at facebook and twitter to let others know? Thank you!

AVAILABLE NOW: Prayer is the most powerful technology I know. My Prayer Power class has just started. Download week 1 & 2 right now! 4 weeks to step into your power and transform your life! You’ll be so glad you did!

RADIO SHOW TODAY: On my radio show today my topic is Holy Instant in Your Relationship. You can listen in LIVE on my radio show – click here for details – or you can click here to get the download later at iTunes or Stitcher for Androids. All the previous episodes are free at iTunes right now! You can subscribe to the podcast and get the show every week automatically. On your phone, iPod, or computer. Check it out! And if you enjoy the radio show, will you please write a review so more people find the show? Thank you!

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