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There’s a strong pattern in my mind that I’ve been healing for years, and it’s the “blame game.” As Thich Nhat Hanh teaches, “blaming never helps.”
It came up this morning in the simplest way. I went for a swim with my friend, Gina, who took us to a beach I’d not gone to before. When walking to the water’s edge, I realized it was rocky and there was no sandy entry into the water. We were walking on rocks until it was deep enough to plunge. I have tender feet. So, I travel with my swim shoes, but I didn’t think to bring them, and, for a moment the ego wanted to blame Gina. Ego wanted to say to my sweet friend, something like this:
“You should have told me that we were going to a beach where I’d need my shoes.”
with a little bit of
“You should have picked a sandy beach for us.”
There are those “shoulds” that are the indicator of blame and attack thoughts.
Fortunately, I realized right away that it was for me to take responsibility. I knew immediately that, in taking responsibility for my rocky experience on my tender feet, that I could easily have brought my water shoes, and that it’s a good idea to be prepared for anything in the future. It’s no big deal to be prepared. I have the shoes, they’re in my beach bag, I can easily bring the bag along. Now I know. Good lesson. No harm done. All is well. I AM blessed!
I can even engage people to help me. I could say “Gina, help me to remember to bring my water shoes to be gentle on my tender feet.
In truth, I had a fleeting thought to bring the shoes and dismissed it. My intuition was working and I made the choice to travel light instead of being prepared. That was my choice. I disregarded my intuition and I learned. And, BTW, Gina said, “I used to come here a lot and there was a sandy place to enter, but it’s gone now.” Of course, she had been thinking about the best place for us, but things had changed – and it was a great swim at some place new, which was nice!
I’m constantly learning the difference between over-thinking something and being overly prepared because the ego is in charge of preparation vs asking for and following guidance of how to prepare. It’s a constant learning. Every day. Every day I can learn something is a great day!
Since blame blocks learning and healing, the main thing is not to blame myself or anyone else, but to simply take the opportunity to be responsible, and to be a happy learner.
Every day brings new opportunities to refine my awareness and to rise up in Spirit. I’m so grateful!
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