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Yesterday, I wrote about my experience of being someone who is constantly defending myself and interacting with someone who is a “defender.” (You can click here to read it now.) It’s really exhausting.
Self-defense is a mental habit that takes up a LOT of time and energy and doesn’t bring ANY benefit. All it does is increase my sense of being attacked. My defense makes the attack seem more real.
Another defensive habit I’m still releasing is the habit of rehearsing experiencing an outcome I don’t want. I had a longtime mental habit of imagining that people disappoint me and let me down. In that negative fantasy, I’m the victim, and my sense of power comes from making others feel guilty. In the fantasy, I’m overcoming their mistreatment and I get to be the better person because they are the ones who let me down and I play the victim.
This negative fantasy was something that used to play in my mind every day – now it’s not very common and when I find myself doing it, I stop right away. I’m not interested in fantasizing about things I don’t wish to experience. There’s no value at all, and there’s a cost to imagining myself having a negative experience – it’s called suffering and I don’t wish to suffer anymore.
I used to feel there was a benefit to playing the innocent victim, making others feel guilty, and having to rise above the mis-treatment. I was “special” because I was hurt. For a long, long time, those thoughts were in my mind, creating a lot of painful experiences in my life.
Now, I stay focused on my heart’s desire and on experiencing more Peace, more Love, and more Joy. Focus on Peace – that’s the ticket that brings Peace! Instead of fantasizing about being a victim, I hold a vision of Love for myself and everyone else.
If you recognize that you fantasize about what you don’t wish to have happen, there’s something you can do about it. Give that pattern and the root causes, (known or unknown, felt or not felt), to the Higher Holy Spirit Self for healing. We don’t have to figure out HOW to have a healing – we can simply ALLOW the healing! It works!
I’m offering 3 different retreats this year – and they are ALL to support your releasing what doesn’t serve and stepping into more peace, more Love, more Joy and especially FREEDOM – click here for more info on upcoming retreats. Come join me for a deep healing, fun, play, restoration and renewal – we rock it out! Forget your troubles, come on, be happy in your healing with us!
If you’re finding what I’m sharing to be helpful, won’t you please share at facebook and twitter to let others know? Thank you!