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The sun is rising over the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina as I write this. Today is the last day of my Stop Playing Small Retreat and tomorrow starts my Spiritual Counseling Training Intensive. I feel so blessed and inspired to be with the gorgeous individuals who have come to do this deep healing work with me.
One of the things that has come clear this weekend is that if we’d like to stop playing small and be truly helpful in this world, living the Love, walking the talk and giving up the feeling of constriction, making higher vibrational choices is the thing that supports us.
Many of us go through long periods, many, many years, of self-medication and self-sabotage before we become willing to make higher vibrational choices. Often we think that the path requires us to go cold turkey on something and to control our impulses and deprive ourselves, and I’ve felt that way.
If we view the path of healing as a path of deprivation, sublimation and regulation, it can feel very painful and here’s the most painful part: with that method of trying to control ourselves, we’re healing at SUCH a slow pace because we’re actually putting the ego in charge of our healing, rather than the Spirit.
I struggled for decades trying to manage and control my impulses ALL DAY LONG.
I had impulses to be mean and rude and unkind. I had impulses to do many things too much: eating, drinking, smoking, talking, gossiping, playing, exercising, and on and on. More was always better because I was looking to medicate and sedate myself, to distract myself from what I was feeling.
It took me decades to realize that my feelings were the indicator of whether or not I was on the right track. I wasn’t honoring my feelings, I was trying to push them down and NOT feel them. I didn’t know that learning to sit with my feelings was so self-loving and that being self-loving would lift my vibration and heal my life.
Love is what we are.
That’s why Love is the ONLY permanent healer.
Everything else is temporary.
When we sit with our feelings, out of Self-Love we learn not to fan the fire of our upset, but to let the judgments and opinions go. Judgments and opinions are our interpretations and if they’re upsetting to us they’re not correct. Fanning the fire of our upset is unkind. I learned this because I was upset so much of the time and I wanted everyone to validate me by joining me so we could all be upset together.
I learned that upsetting other people was one of the most low vibrational choices I could make. It was “dragging people down with me.” And deep down, I knew it was just affirming my own feelings of “I’m bad and wrong, not worthy of Love.”
I often went into self-medication of fantasy as an escape from my painful feelings. I had so many low vibrational choices to either punish myself or escape from how I felt about myself. I didn’t know that I was digging a deeper low vibrational hole for myself. I was unhappy in the illusion, so I was trying to escape by going deeper into it through fantasy. It made me feel even more lost in time and space.
BTW, I did an episode of my weekly A Course in Miracles weekly Radio Show on Divine Vision or Ego Fantasy and this is a great choice to be aware of.
Finally, because of my prayers and my willingness, I began to discover that consistently looking for even a SLIGHTLY higher vibrational choice, I could find my way out of my own personal hell.
The slightly more loving choices I began to make, day after day, built up my increasing willingness. I began to be excited to look for the more loving and higher vibrational choices. It stopped feeling like a drag to “have” to be more loving. Instead of pushing myself, and berating myself into making more loving choices (just think of that! LOL!) I was noticing the feeling of the vibrational shift and I liked it! I was feeling SO MUCH better about myself.
My impulses to self-medicate were diminishing and I was really shifting. I came to a point where I decided to go all-in for God.
One thing that really helped me was learning to sense if what I was doing felt violent in any way. If it felt like it was being unkind in any way, that would be the vibration that would let me know, it’s an opportunity to make a higher vibrational choice.
I learned to ask for guidance.
Listen for the response.
Allow my Self to choose it.
Ask. Listen. Allow.
There have been times where it felt like a very intense roller coaster ride. I happen to like roller coasters. I love the laughing and screaming. I love having my hair blown back. My friend Lorri Gifford sent me this meme which I adapted slightly – I love it!
In our wild ride, let’s let the Higher Holy Spirit Self hold us and train us as we remember to Love ourselves free of lack and limitation by choosing a higher vibration. Let us realize that the Spirit is COMPLETELY holding us and that we cannot fail if we ask, listen and allow the guidance to flow in our heart.
Even one slightly higher vibrational choice per day will, profoundly change our life in just 1 month. I see it all the time in my Finding Freedom class.
And that’s precisely why every day I write inspiration and record a prayer to go with it. So that you can join me in looking for that higher vibrational choices that raises us up so we can be truly helpful in this world.
STARTS MONDAY: My Spiritual Counseling Training Intensive is not just a professional training, it’s a deeply healing opportunity to let go of false beliefs. If you read the things people have said about how their lives change as a result, you will see that this is an opportunity for profound lasting personal healing.
If you’re willing, let’s do it together! Changing our lives and healing our minds is so much easier when we are the two or more gathered together for the same purpose. To this end, I’m offering another Spiritual Counseling Training Intensive starting on Monday.
You can get all the episodes of my radio show, many have been transcribed, all available here. If you’d like help getting the podcast set up on your smart phone or tablet just let us know by replying to this email. Also, if you have a topic you’d like me to cover, please let me know!
We’re an expanding global spiritual community of prayerful people willing to be co-workers with God. We’re waking up together and finding freedom in our hearts. I’m so grateful for this!
If you find what I’m sharing helpful, won’t you please share at facebook and twitter to let others know? Thank you!