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I don’t think there’s been anyone in my immediate family who has been as hostile, petulant, judgmental, passive-aggressive or down right mean as I have. I used to be utterly obnoxious at times. I would lose control and behave like a crazy person. And here’s how it’s ALL good. Now, I have so much compassion for myself and others when they aren’t being their normal loving self.
A parent once shared with me a mean comment that she heard one of her children say to the other. The comment was definitely intended to attack and hurt the parent, understandably, wanted to know how to discipline the child. My first thought was, if your child is being mean, they need some extra love not discipline.
I know that when I was behaving like a deranged monster, it was just a cry for Love. I truly didn’t know what else to do. Honestly, I was doing the only thing that made sense to me.
Of course I understand why my loved ones got angry with me and wanted to punish me to teach me that my behavior was unacceptable. They love me and they wished for me to learn to behave in ways that were acceptable. They also didn’t want to live with a crazy, mean person. Who does?
I’m so grateful that my family never gave up on me or kicked me out. I’m SO grateful.
What I’ve learned is that Love heals.
Love is patient, Love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking;
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things; endures all things.
Love never ends.
Love is unconditional. As Shakespeare said so beautifully “Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, nor bends with the remover to remove. It is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken.”
It might not be easy to love without conditions, but it’s definitely healing to everyone involved.
In this world, to be the happy learner, we absolutely must forgive everything. We must let all the beliefs go. We must surrender all of our interpretations and the meaning we’ve made of things. In other words, we must relinquish the hold we have on all that is false, all the stories we’ve made up and told.
Our mind IS the mind of God.
Whatever we hold in our mind will seem true to us whether it is true or not.
We cause trouble, and upset ourselves when we actively choose to believe that which isn’t true. Our happiness depends upon our willingness to value the truth above all else.
One thing many people do is they decide that people don’t love them or that we’re not lovable, or they’re not lovable. There’s such a strong tendency for people to make declarations that are limiting and just bring more sorrow, frustration, regret and resentment.
When we’re holding resentment it won’t end until we release the meaning we’ve made of things. That’s the only way out of that one. We can learn to relax our mind and have more patience. It is SO worth it.
We can accomplish so much with Love and nothing without it.
My practice of non-judment isn’t perfect yet, but one thing I know is to “love them anyway.”
Let’s remember to Love more fully and more consistently and let’s do it together!
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Remembering to Love
How to Choose Love Rather than Punishment & Self-medication
Thursday, August 23
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