August 29, 2018

Activities can be self-loving or self-destructive depending upon our intention.

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So often I come back to the question of why do we cling to negative habits when we know that they’re hurting us. It feels to me like resistance and reluctance to healing, to Freedom, to happiness.

What feels the strongest to me is the ego attachment to the things we’ve made. Let me explain.

When there’s a “negative pleasure” that’s derived from something that is actually self-destructive, it’s because there’s been some association made with the pleasure that becomes part of the ego thinking that “it’s worth it.”

For instance, their can be a pleasure of enjoying a first glass of wine that becomes painful as we continue on to finish two thirds or more of the bottle. Why would someone keep going?

One reason is that once we get on the pain train we have a tendency to feel aligned with negativity, which weakens our energy field and lowers our vibration and then being self-destructive is actually easier. It’s easier to slide downhill than it is to try to climb up hill.

For me, it was a HUGE realization that I don’t have to try to climb up, I can just stop the slide and get off the pain train as soon as I realize I’m on it and heading in the direction of self-destruction.

The more I learned to Love myself, the easier it became for me to get off the pain train.

I was in the habit of riding it all the way to the end, which, for me, meant I REALLY have to go to sleep now. I got to be right about how wrong I was. That was the negative pleasure of going all the way to the end.

By riding the pain train to the absolute end of the line, again and again, I felt justified in thinking how hard this spiritual work was – and particularly, I felt justified in thinking how hard it was for me. I was utterly convinced that it couldn’t work for me because I was so especially bad.

I’m so glad that I kept praying. I’m absolutely certain that my prayers kept me from giving up. I prayed to be more loving.

The main turning point for me was when I made my spiritual life and practice #1 in my life. It was during the time that I shifted into those practices that became my Finding Freedom From Fear spiritual bootcamp that everything changed. My whole orientation changed and I began to achieve lasting success and the healing took hold in my heart and mind.

Can you relate to the idea of negative pleasure? Have you seen that playing out in your life? Please let me know in the comments section below!

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