When Forgiveness is Dysfunctional

October 16, 2018

We’re recovering from dysfunctional compassion!

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When we forgive others for the dysfunctional behavior, we can think we’re being compassionate. But, if we forgive in such a way that we don’t hold people responsible for their choices and actions, we’re the ones who are being dysfunctional.

Compassion is loving understanding. It’s being able to extend Love, and know the Truth. It’s being able to hold the high watch for someone when they cannot do it for themselves. A Course in Miracles tells us that only the sane person can have compassion for the people who act in a crazy way.

In my experience, I have come across many people who are deluding themselves, and living in fantasy. When the opportunity comes to move out of illusions and into Truth, it so frightens them that they go into attack, instead. For some people, it’s easier to attack, and make a mess of a relationship, than it is to simply be vulnerable enough to be transparent.

Many times, people don’t even know how they feel, or what’s going on with them, and so they’re truly unable to say what they feel and think. They’re not clear in their awareness. Clarity frightens them. Honesty is scary and intimidating.

In all these instances, the greatest gift we can give is boundless compassion.
Love IS compassion.
Love is healing.
Love is truly helpful.

Sometimes, being compassionate means saying “No. Stop. I don’t like that.” Boundless compassion doesn’t mean being a doormat, or letting people treat you badly. Letting people treat you poorly is a misguided, dysfunctional, compassion that I’ve experienced so many times. I’ve had to learn that being “dysfunctionally compassionate” and allowing people to treat me badly, makes for negative karma for both of us, and that’s not what I’m interested in.

The hardest person for most people to be compassionate with, is themselves. And yet, it truly is the most valuable. When we cultivate Self-Love and Self-compassion, then we’re going to bring benefit to all beings. When you live in a Self-compassionate, Self-loving way, you teach everyone around you how to improve their lives, just by the choices that you make!

I encourage you to take a moment now, and look for the areas of your life where you’re pushing yourself, berating yourself, not listening to yourself, and see if you can increase your willingness to have compassion for yourself. This is a practice that will transform your life, heal your heart, mind and body. It will heal your whole life, if you practice it deeply! Let’s do it together!

TODAY RADIO SHOW: my topic is When Forgiveness is Dysfunctional  You can listen in LIVE on my radio show – click here for details – or you can click here to get the download later at iTunes or Stitcher for Android. All the previous episodes are free at iTunes & Stitcher right now! Transcripts and more are available here: LivingaCourseinMiracles.com You can subscribe to the podcast, and get the show every week automatically on your phone, iPod, iPad or computer.  Check it out! And, if you enjoy the radio show, will you please write a review so more people find the show? The more reviews, the more iTunes and Stitcher show it to people! Thank you!

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