Responsibility in Relationship

February 12, 2019

Taking responsibility has healed my relationships!

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Today on my radio show I’ll be sharing about responsibility in relationship. Being able to take responsibility for our feelings is the way out of most people’s experiences of relationship misery. It’s amazing how much gratitude we can have when realize we’ve been doing it to ourselves and we can stop!

Last night in Masterful Living, one of the things we were discussing was guilt. Many people feel guilty for a variety of reasons, and that guilt is like a wet, stinky blanket on their life and on their energy field. Let’s get rid of it!

Guilt is not really my thing. When I was a kid, my grandmother would often try to make me feel guilty in order to manipulate me, and I learned to throw that off. I developed a Teflon coating for guilt. It still comes up from time to time, and I’ve learned a lot about how to let guilt go.

The number one way to release the guilt is to not put guilt on anyone else. It’s like I say all the time:

the judger always feels judged
the attacker always feels attacked
the lover always feels beloved

Let’s add: the guilt-er always feels guilty (and secretly ashamed)

Which would you like to feel — Guilty or Beloved? You’re in charge of your choices, so why choose to feel guilty and ashamed when you could feel Beloved?

You may be trying to make people feel guilty and, perhaps, not even be aware of it. When you’re upset, if you feel in ANY WAY that it’s someone else’s fault, and you tell them you’re upset – you’re probably, perhaps unconsciously, trying to blame them and make them feel guilty and ashamed. This will only cause you to feel guilty and ashamed – perhaps unconsciously. Next thing you know, you’re depressed and self-medicating. Yuck – the wet, stinky blanket of despair has landed, self-inflicted. Ugh.

If you believe that you have the power to make other people happy, to fix their lives, to rescue them or heal them, and you withhold Love from them, you probably will feel guilty because you might also be punishing them, consciously or unconsciously.

If you feel upset, and you feel it will help you to tell other people about it, make sure you don’t feel they’re responsible. If you do feel they’re responsible for your feelings, then take ownership of it like this:

“I’m feeling upset and I know it’s not you’re fault. It’s my crazy thinking. I’d like to talk it through with you, so that I can take total responsibility for my thoughts and feelings and heal this crazy thinking. Are you willing to help me talk it through?”

However, if you have a secret desire to blame them and shame them for “making you” feel upset, then don’t go talk with them – unless they’re really skilled at being able to recognize you’re exposing your crazy secret desire to blame and shame. Responsibility is the way out. Taking TOTAL ownership of our feelings is the only way to have a truly healing and productive conversation.

Remember, the ego loves to pick a fight, to blame and to shame and that will only leave you feeling guilty and ashamed. There’s just no benefit to trying to make others responsible for your upset. Heal that habit, and your life will become more loving, more prosperous and more harmonious! Woo-hoo!

TODAY RADIO SHOW: my topic is Responsibility In Relationship. You can listen in LIVE on my radio show – click here for details – or you can click here to get the download later at iTunes or Stitcher for Android. All the previous episodes are free at iTunes & Stitcher right now! Transcripts and more are available here:  You can subscribe to the podcast and get the show every week automatically on your phone, iPod, iPad or computer. Check it out! And if you enjoy the radio show, will you please write a review so more people find the show? The more reviews, the more iTunes and Stitcher show it to people! Thank you!

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