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I’ve been counseling individuals and couples for 19 years now. I’ve been leading retreats and classes for 21 years and during that time I’ve learned so much. Mostly I’ve learned a great compassion for myself and for how easy it is to fall down an ego rabbit hole.
I’ve seen myself fall into a trap that I carefully laid for myself and didn’t even realize it. Even as the trap snapped shut, I still didn’t realize I did it to myself. I would blame life. I would blame others. It was always someone else’s fault.
One of the biggest traps is to be working to get any kind of freedom and not realize that what’s really going on is more entrapment.
Here’s an example:
You’re praying for a holy relationship.
You’re working so hard to improve your relationship.
You’re trying to open up avenues of communication.
You’re spending more time with them.
You’re doing things to help them.
And you’re not doing it right.
You’re being rejected.
Nothing you do is working.
You’re not appreciated.
The resentment is increasing.
The relationship is even more threatened.
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME???
We repeat cycles like that in every area of our life.
In our finances –
We work harder and harder.
We earn more money.
We save more money.
We cut back on expenses.
We look for better investments.
We shop for better prices.
We cut coupons.
And then our taxes go up.
Or our septic tank needs to be replaced.
Or our refrigerator dies.
Or we need three root canals.
This is the cycle of ego entrapment that feels so punishing.
It feels like we’ll never get out of it.
It seems foolish to even bother anymore, because it seems like ego always wins.
What’s really going on?
That’s the question for us to ask Spirit.
What am I to do to find Freedom in my life?
Freedom has to exist first in our mind before it can show up in our lives.
I’ve worked with so many people who are trying to get Freedom in their heart and mind, and in their relationships and finances, but they’re mostly trying to change things in their life – in their external.
I get that.
I used to operate the same way.
I could no longer stand my recurring experiences and feelings of punishing failure.
I could practically hear the ego saying “Gotcha!” Along with an evil demoralizing laugh at my pathetic attempts to get free.
“All healing is at the level of the mind.” ~ A Course in Miracles
It took me repeating the same arguments with the same people and feeling the same sense of defeat a THOUSAND times before I was finally exhausted enough to look for a better way.
I studied the beautiful teachings of Ernest Holmes’ Science of the Mind for more than a decade before I finally made the commitment to focus entirely on changing my thoughts in order to have more Love, more Freedom, and more Light in my life, in my heart and in my mind.
I began to actually live the ACIM lessons and put my full FOCUS on the inward journey rather than the external. And that’s when I began to feel turbo charged, like a rocket.
I really wished that I could have others to walk alongside me and join me in my discovery of discipline and dedication, but almost no one I knew was actually that interested. Most of my spiritual posse, were only interested in being students – not being true practitioners – of spiritual principle and prayer.
To truly LIVE these A Course in Miracles teachings is a way of living.
I thought I’d have to give up so many things that I truly valued, needed and wanted.
I knew that I’d end up giving up all my crutches and my excuses.
I was afraid to stand strong in the Light of Love.
I didn’t feel worthy or capable.
But I decided to do it anyway.
I decided to have faith and trust, that Spirit would lead me.
Because I couldn’t stand trying to figure it out anymore.
I knew I couldn’t do it on my own.
I admitted my defeat.
I gave up trying to work my will
I gave up trying to understand God.
I moved into the place of ALLOWING myself to learn from Love itself.
Not giving up was the hardest thing I ever did.
Being TRULY willing was the most difficult discipline I ever learned.
At that time, I just wanted to stop living in the shadows.
I just wanted to stop getting in my own way.
I really, really had a deep burning desire to FEEL what would happen if I put Spirit in charge FOR REAL.
Now, looking back to that time fourteen years ago – I can see that all I’ve given up that I used to treasure is this:
Judgments and repeating the same upsets.
I don’t miss it at all.
It was SO HARD FOR ME TO DO IT ON MY OWN.
I decided to follow Spirit’s guidance and create something so that people don’t have to do this on their own. So that we can do it as a group.
My life got so much better. I had so much miraculous healing in my family and in my heart that I had to share it with others. That’s why 11 years ago, I created a bootcamp class called Family Freedom. The very first time I offered it, shortly after my mother’s passing in 2008, people also had amazing and miraculous healing. I realized that the curriculum was really all about applying the ACIM principles in a way that brought freedom from fear and so I’ve continued to work on this class and update it and now I call it Finding Freedom From Fear.
This class is so powerful and transformative that it’s also a requirement for my Spiritual Counseling Certification Program.
I haven’t offered this class in six months, but I’m thinking of offering it soon. I’m thinking of doing something special next time I offer it so that people can do the class with a friend or family member, as there is definitely strength in joining with a partner. If you’d like to be on the waiting list so you can join me next time I offer it, you can go here to sign up for the waiting list and I’ll keep you posted.
Are you interested in this? I haven’t offered Finding Freedom from Fear in almost six months, and I’m thinking offering it soon. I’m considering doing something special next time I offer my class, so that people can do the class with a friend or family member as there is definitely strength in joining with a partner. If you’d like to be on the waiting list so you can join me next time I offer it, you can go here to sign up for the waiting list and I’ll keep you posted.
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