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Yesterday I did a Facebook Live about saying no. I’ve realized that this is a real issue for many people. Maybe it’s your issue. Do you say yes to things that you really don’t want to have anything to do with?
Most people have at least a bit of the “people-pleaser” in their personality. Yet, being a “people-pleaser” is inauthentic. And it leads to all kinds of other issues that make our life heavy and unhappy.
One thing that many people don’t even realize is that people pleasing and saying yes when we really mean no is actually quite manipulative. This is the essence of co-dependency.
When we say yes and we don’t really mean it, aren’t we actually being deceitful in someway? I know I feel that I’m not being truthful when I’ve done it. And I usually resent the other folks, even though I’m the one that decided to do something I don’t really feel like doing.
None of that is self-loving. In some ways, it feels self-punishing.
When we’re people pleasing we’re presenting a false self. Aren’t we hiding and masquerading? If we’re not being real, can anyone actually love us or see us?
What if the reason we don’t feel loved is because people can’t actually see our true Self?
What if the reason we don’t feel lovable is because we’re being deceitful?
I’d rather get better at saying “No, thank you” and know who really loves me and who is just tolerating me because I go along with them. Wouldn’t you?
What do you feel about this? Please let me know in the comments below!
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