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How many of us have been taught to fight fairly? How many of us have ever seen it? Did your parents argue or fight fairly? Did their parents? I used to argue with myself. Sometimes I’d argue with a family member or a friend.
I learned how to fight fairly, honestly, and lovingly–truly, I did. I know, because I remember when I didn’t. I know that feeling in my gut when I’ve said or heard something hurtful or blaming. I’m grateful for that pain, because it reminded me to choose Love.
Now I have the strength to refrain from being hurtful. And that’s part of why I am offering my FREE FORGIVENESS CLASS tomorrow. I’d rather not fight at all. And, I’ve learned it’s not necessary. We can discuss instead of arguing.
In his book IRON JOHN, the wonderful poet Robert Bly writes, “A good fight gets things clear and I think women long to fight and be with men who know how to fight well. When both use their weapons unconsciously or without naming them, both man and woman stumble into battle, and when it is over the two interior children can be badly wounded. The adult warrior inside both men and women, when trained, can receive a blow without sulking or collapsing, knows how to fight for limited goals, keeps the rules of combat in mind, and in general, is able to keep the fighting clean and establish limits.“
Sometimes a disagreement turns into something like an argument.
Arguing is a part of everyone’s life, whether we’re a witness or a participant, but it doesn’t have to be.
The more I do my forgiveness practice, the fewer arguments I have. I very rarely have arguments now.
We can have a life without fights or arguing, without blame, or guilt. We really can.
I used to have the same repetitive arguments with the same people and it would just send me into a real sense of despair. Forgiveness changed all that.
I agree with the teaching in A Course In Miracles: “Anger is never justified.” And still, anger is experienced. Upsets occur.
Being able to handle these outbursts and challenges with Love, compassion and forgiveness are what I’m interested in.
This is part of my intention to be masterful. Forgiveness has been my greatest tool.
I’ve learned that stuffing my feelings to avoid having an upset doesn’t work. As part of my practice of nonviolence today, I look at how I fight. I set my intention that if there is anger, I can explore it – not judge it – with Love and compassion. I am learning to express how I feel without the energy of violence and a desire to wound.
My practice is so very valuable to me. I heal and the whole world heals with me. Now that’s TRULY helpful. How wonderful!
I’m curious to know – how do you feel when you have an argument? Please share in the comments below!
FREE FORGIVENESS CLASS TOMORROW: Let me suggest some simple ways you can immediately feel more successful in your relationships. When you’re ready to stop and drop the same old patterns of upset in relationships, the tips and tools I offer in this free class will really support you. They’re SO simple, and yet they have a profound effect. You can learn to remember to Partner UP rather than struggling in your relationships and that feels so good. You can stop playing small and live your calling by ALLOWING healing your relationships. Are you willing to make more loving choices to deepen your spiritual practice and accelerate your awakening by being a healing presence in your family? It’s easier than you think! Forgive me. Here Come the Holidays!
The class is on Sunday – and it’s my gift to you, but you do have to register. Please bring a friend, since it’s free!