Recognizing the Spiritual Bypass

December 17, 2019
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We all feel like hiding and denying sometimes.

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Sometimes, as spiritual students, we do a “spiritual bypass.” If we’re experiencing something challenging and we jump right over our feelings to get to the spiritual truth, then we’re doing a “spiritual bypass.”

When our feelings don’t seem very spiritual, there’s a temptation to jump up into our head and intellectualize our experience rather than just have our feelings. That’s when we’re responding from the intellect, engaged by the ego and thinking of what’s right and wrong, looking to fix things. It’s not helpful. And our feelings can help us recognize what we’re doing so we can make a higher choice.

I’ve had to learn how to respond with compassion rather than the judgment that is the undercurrent of seeing someone as needing fixing, needing help. I’ve had to learn how to respond with my heart rather than the intellect. My emotions of upset help me to recognize that I’m not in alignment and I can make a higher choice – and that’s actually being more loving with myself – and that’s going to bring forth healing.

Recognizing my feelings brings healing.

It takes a great willingness to be present and to be vulnerable in order to respond with the heart rather than the intellect. And all it requires is our willingness to let Spirit lead us.

It’s enough to just be willing to be willing.

A little willingness is enough.

Have you ever felt that someone came to you with their suffering and you went right into fixing them and right into the intellect? I have. I have experienced it being done to me and I have done it to others, and both feel painful.

When we don’t have compassion for our own suffering then we treat others the way we treat ourselves – seeing them as having a problem that needs to be fixed. Then they usually respond with feeling hurt and offended.

In this way, we get to see how we’re treating ourselves and why we’re so unhappy. We can witness how it feels to be treated as though we have a problem and are defective by observing how others feel when we talk to them from our intellect to their intellect, rather than heart to heart.

Have you ever berated yourself when you’re having a difficult time and feel afraid? I have.

Isn’t it crazy that we would ever think for one second that chastising ourselves would somehow be a worthwhile choice?

Have you ever “should” all over someone because of your own insecurities? I HAVE!

And I’ve done it to myself! Most of us have tried to manipulate ourselves with the “shoulds”.

As I said, I had to LEARN how to respond with Love and compassion.

It’s worth learning.
It wasn’t easy for me.
It’s worth learning.

If you can relate, be willing to pay attention next time someone comes to you for comfort and notice if you go to the heart or the intellect.

Do you try to fix them or solve their problems?

If you chose “fix them” then you can recognize that you’re actually affirming they have a problem. This is why they might reject that judgment and, in the process, it may seem like they’re rejecting you.

This has been HUGE learning for me and I’m so grateful I can share it.

Our feelings help us to recognize what’s really going on. Live and learn! Learn to Live!

All through the holidays, we get to choose Heaven or hell with each choice we make. If you find the holidays difficult, if you struggle with old family patterns, if you’re feeling you’d like to really have a breakthrough, then you might find my F* Me Here Come the Holidays free class helpful. (The F is for forgiveness.)

You can sign up now for this free class offering this week.

If you’d like to have a powerful, healing and transformative spiritual practice that TRULY helps you to undo the past, release attachments and dissolve the patterns of pain, consider joining me in Masterful Living Course 2020. We’ve got a lot to offer!

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