- Jennifer Hadley - https://jenniferhadley.com -

Judger Always Feels Judged

I’ve realized that within minutes of judging someone I’ll have a judgment about myself.

Every judgment, every projection is like a boomerang that comes back and hits me in the head with force.

I’ve learned to be grateful for this because when I become aware of the judgment I can remember that it’s only going to lead to suffering. Having this awareness has helped me to stop playing small. In the past, I’ve played small by habitually judging and then being preoccupied with cleaning up the upset [1] caused by the boomerang. Phew!

I’ve had so many judgments about myself. I’ve had to surrender each and every one of them in order to FEEL free. Fortunately, we can get so good at giving [2] up the judgments and opinions that we find ourselves being less and less judgmental.

An important practice for our healing is simply to replace the judgments with compassion.

I can remember when I felt angry and bitter and I thought it was my job to take it out on everyone around me.

I didn’t know it at the time, but each judgment was helping me to dig a dark hole.

My experience of digging dark holes for myself has led me to have compassion for those who do what I did. They don’t know any better.

They are to be helped, with compassion, and not shunned or judged.

Yes, the person who judges will often feel judged by others.
It’s their own projection coming back at them like a boomerang that hits them in the head so they’ll wake up and realize there IS a better way.

I don’t know anyone that hasn’t made mis-takes from the smallest to the “biggest,” – whatever BIG means. We are all learning [3] how to BE more loving and kind. We learn THROUGH our mistakes. We are UN-learning to buy into the myriad of judgments its possible to have. This requires our constant attention.

Clearing our mind is the best [4] possible use of our time.

I like to say “it’s good work if you can get it, and I’ve got plenty of it!”

Are you willing to forgive [5] your past mistakes so that you can be free now? I AM! Let’s do it together!

Is there a mistake that you have forgiven that you can share in the comments? Inspire us!