November 18, 2020

We can find grace in our grief.

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At this time of year, our feelings of grief can become overwhelming. For some people this is the first holiday season without their loved one who passed. For some, this is the last holiday season with a loved one who is preparing to depart. Either way, it can bring up intense grief.

With so much loss for so many – on many levels – there’s much to grieve for many people. I feel it’s important that we’re all aware who is grieving around us – they may not show it.

Experiencing what feels like a great loss of any kind, whether it’s a loved one, a job, or any type of identification can be extremely difficult. It can feel overwhelming like no other thing we experience.

Grief can feel shattering for the ego, the personality.

When there’s a loss of a loved one, a job, a home, or something important – it can be a loss of identity that’s completely disorienting.

And then, sometimes, for some people, the grief can morph into a sense that their grief and suffering are what make them special. If the suffering goes on a while it can be difficult to let go of. It becomes part of their new (false) identification. The martyr takes over, and it can feel very sticky.

Grief is never wrong. It’s not a failure. It’s a part of our human experience. We can be tender with ourselves – and we can get MUCH comfort in connecting with others who are also experiencing extreme loss – there’s SO MUCH HEALING in that connection.

Grief can include an unwillingness to give up a strong attachment.

In Spirit, we are eternally one, so there’s no relationship we have to actually give up. Yet, for us to be happy, we do have to give up the attachment. Releasing an attachment is deeply healing, but it can feel very sad and disorienting.

The grief itself can just be another expression of the attachment to the relationship – and that’s a VERY important and valuable distinction.

In a sense, attachments are false idols. They can never make us happy.

We can lose a loved one, a job, a home, etc, and confront our attachment, release it and feel great Freedom, Peace, and Joy while still loving our loved one, our former job, our former home. Giving up the attachment doesn’t mean giving up that which we love, it means giving up the attachment and ONLY the attachment.

When we become identified in our own mind as the one who suffers, the one who is without, and in lack, sometimes we begin to affirm it over and over again all day long. It’s insidious. And it can happen REALLY fast. It’s like a virus that takes over our heart, our mind, and then our identity

One time I had an experience of meeting two other women at an event. It was just before Mother’s Day and we quickly discovered that all three of our precious mothers had seemingly died of cancer. If we had wanted to, we could have formed a club – the dead cancer mom’s club or something like that.

I don’t identify as someone who has “lost” her Mom because I feel she’s with me in Spirit always. I’m one with her, so she can’t be gone from me even though I don’t see her anymore. I feel her. She’s gone ahead, and not far away.

I don’t identify with being motherless because I don’t live in the past. I sometimes briefly recall the past, but not often – and when I do, I share from what I’ve learned in my experiences because that feels truly helpful for others and that’s my aspiration: to be truly helpful to my brothers and sisters in this world.

Living in the past, no matter how great it might have been, only makes for a limited experience of Love now. For myself, I’ve learned there’s absolutely no value in holding onto the past. I can let ALL of it go.

I’ve found that offering any grief and suffering to the Higher Holy Spirit Self for healing has worked. Of course, it doesn’t work if we’re not actually willing. It can take a while to get to the point of real willingness. And we must be gentle with ourselves – we cannot rush this.

TODAY – Grief Support Class starts today: Very few people really understand how to move through grief with ease and grace.  Jesse Brune-Horan is someone who has gone through tremendous loss and grief and is now offering support.  Jesse is a minister that I have partnered with in many classes and offerings and I’m so glad to support this offering of his new class Healing Grief.  Now is the perfect time to get this support and to call forth more grace in your experience of grief.  Click here for more details.  

TOMORROW – MY FORGIVENESS CLASS:  My Forgive & Be Free class, in 3 parts – it starts tomorrow.  Let’s do this sacred work joyfully, and JoyFULLY together!  JUST IN TIME for the holidays.  Register now.  Click here for more details.    
Family gatherings, such as Thanksgiving are often triggers of grievances.  Prepare yourself to BE the Peace in your relationships and let the past go. 
IMPORTANT – this class is a BONUS GIFT for you if you register for Masterful Living 2021 THIS WEEK ONLY.  

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