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Many people are actively choosing thoughts that trigger fear.
That’s what I used to do.
The broken record in my head was “if only things were different, then I could feel happy, safe, healthy, prosperous, loved, good, and successful.”
That broken record was part of my habitual pattern.
I thought I was captive inside it – like being stuck in the spin cycle of a washing machine.
I was always trying to change things “out there,” in order to feel safe and happy.
It seemed as though I was afraid because I couldn’t pay my bills.
I thought I was afraid because I didn’t know how to be successful.
I believed I was afraid because my relationships weren’t happy and fulfilling.
In truth, I was terrified that I would keep fooling myself into avoiding healing the cause of fear.
And there’s a way to stop the pattern. It took me a lot of time and effort to finally figure out how to stop getting trapped in these patterns and feeling like a spiritual failure.
Generally there are 3 choices that people make when they feel afraid:
When you feel that feeling of fear, whether it’s worry, anxiety, panic or sheer terror – which one do you go to first?
For many people, when they feel afraid they feel threatened and the immediate reaction is to begin to fight and that often looks like defense.
When I was trapped in the fear patterns, if someone attacked me first, I’d go into a defensive posture and defend my choices and actions – I was never wrong, I was always right. If that didn’t work, then I’d go into attack mode.
“The best defense is a good offense.”
Taking offense and taking that offensive posture seems to be a power position.
Taking offense is to be the attacker.
When I felt threatened, I would go right into attack mode as a way of defending myself. If I had a good attack then people would run away from me and then I could feel safe again, less threatened.
When I felt threatened, I’d counter with an attack in the form of criticism, sarcasm, judgments, blame and shame to let the other person know that if they came any closer with their threatening behavior I would really take out the big guns to hurt them.
I became like a porcupine.
I pushed away a lot of good people who really didn’t deserve any kind of attack at all. I pushed away people who loved me. I sacrificed those relationships to feed my pain and I didn’t even know what I was doing until the damage was done.
It all just reconfirmed what I believed:
Something’s REALLY wrong with me.
Of course when some people feel threatened they run away. They take flight. It can look like withholding and withdrawing.
It can look as though they’re unreachable or hiding.
Some people freeze up when they feel threatened. Like a deer caught in headlights. They don’t see any acceptable or understandable option so they just stay stuck.
Sometimes people are so fearful they stay stuck for many years, even decades.
I tried all of these – fight, flight, and freeze.
I was an expert at all of them.
For a long time I made fear my motivator.
In a sense, my ego was like the sick friend who bullied me into taking action to get me to break out of my self-destructive fear habits.
Ultimately, I realized I didn’t wish to live my life as a victim of a bully.
It was such a dark place.
The fear was always present.
It was pushing me every day, in every choice I made.
It was exhausting.
I never felt a sense of success.
Finally, I realized there was a better way, and maybe I could find it.
Maybe I didn’t have to let fear be my motivation.
Maybe I could decide NOT to ALLOW fear be my motivation.
Maybe there was a better way even for someone like me.
I became willing to open my mind and my heart to the possibility of life without fear and that’s when the inspiration came to actually make changes.
Maybe there was another choice besides fight, flight and freeze.
Maybe there was a 4th option.
The guidance did come – and I saw that in order to change the fear patterns I’d been stuck in, I had to be WILLING to follow that guidance.
I found the 4th option.
Just knowing that the option was there wasn’t enough to make my life suddenly become better and easier. There were steps I took to move into a life where I wasn’t living in fear anymore.
I’ll share the breakdown of those steps in tomorrow’s Daily Shot of Spiritual Espresso.
If you’re living in fear, if fear is your motivator, at the end of this three part series, I’m going to give you a gift to support your moving out of fear.
This is part 1 of a 3 part series. Stay tuned for more tomorrow!
Finding Freedom From Fear Spiritual Bootcamp with ACIM Principles Starts June 6
Don’t delay your happiness. If you’re ready to make a change, and you’d like some REAL support to make a LASTING change, TAKE ACTION! If you’re interested in my Finding Freedom From Fear Online Spiritual Bootcamp, but you aren’t sure if it’s right for you right now, book an Exploratory Call with one of our spiritual counselors. The call is free and you’ll find benefit in addition to getting all your questions answered. Click here now to book an Exploratory Call with a Spiritual Counselor.
Finding Freedom from Fear is not your usual class – it’s SO MUCH more! That’s why it’s a bootcamp!
Trust your intuition. If you’ve been thinking about doing my Finding Freedom From Fear Bootcamp for a while, but just haven’t been ready, consider booking an exploratory call with one of the spiritual counselors. They can answer all your questions and you’ll know what’s best for you.
If this is right for you right now, you’ll know it. Follow your own inner guidance.
Join me and This is your chance, if you’d like to join me and GO FOR IT!
You’ll be able to close out this year feeling like you had one of the best years ever!
If you’ve been thinking about doing my for a while, but just haven’t been ready, consider booking an exploratory call with one of the spiritual counselors. They can answer all your questions and you’ll know what’s best for you.
Trust your intuition! Finding Freedom From Fear Bootcamp
Book an exploratory call today!
If this is right for you right now, you’ll know it.
My spiritual bootcamp isn’t for everyone – it’s for those who are willing to dive in and do the work to free their mind – and have fun doing it!
Finding Freedom From Fear
Click here now to learn more.