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Do you have trouble saying no.
You are not alone! I’ve realized this is a BIG issue for many people. Maybe it’s your issue. Do you say yes to things that you really don’t want to have anything to do with?
Most people have at least a bit of the people pleaser in their personality. Yet, being a people pleaser is inauthentic. And it leads to all kinds of other issues that make our life heavy and unhappy.
One thing that many people don’t even realize is that people pleasing and saying yes when we really mean no, is actually quite manipulative.
When we do this, we’re either trying to manipulate people to like us or to not criticize us. This is the essence of co-dependency.
When we say yes, and we don’t really mean it, aren’t we actually being deceitful in someway? Aren’t we trying to control others with this people pleasing behavior?
I know I feel that I’m not being truthful when I’ve done it. And I usually resent the other folks even though I’m the one that decided to do something I don’t really feel like doing.
None of that is self-loving. In some ways, it feels self-punishing.
When we’re people pleasing we’re presenting a false self. Aren’t we hiding and masquerading? If we’re not being real, can anyone actually see is? If they can’t see us, how can they love us?
What if the reason we don’t feel loved is because people can’t actually see our true self?
What if the reason we don’t feel lovable is because we’re being deceitful and inauthentic?
This is no small thing.
This is about letting Love in!
I’d rather get better at saying “no, thank you” and know who really loves me, and who’s just tolerating me because I go along with them.
What do you feel about this? Please let me know in the comments below!