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For years, I was utterly convinced that this spiritual healing works for other people, but not for me. I just felt I didn’t have what it took. Something was missing. I didn’t know what it was or how to find it.
Compare and despair. That’s a thing I talk about in my classes.
When we compare, we invite despair.
One of the ways I experienced the pain of separation thinking was feeling that I was so much worse than my other spiritual friends. I see that play out for a lot of others. It’s something many of us have in common.
I’m leading my Stop Playing Small retreat online this weekend. Often, one of the first things that happen for people on one of my retreats is the realization that they’re not the only one who feels the way we do. When we talk openly and honestly, we can realize that we have so much in common.
Many of us feel that we’re worse than others and so many of us feel that we’re simply unlovable and so we feel we have to present a false front.
Then, of course, since we’re not presenting ourselves honestly and transparently, we don’t feel truly loved. We’re aware that people don’t really see us, get us, and understand us because we’re hiding. We’re not being authentic.
It’s a journey to be able to be authentic!
How can we possibly be authentic and allow Love in, when we’re identified with a false ego-self that we don’t like? For myself, I was completely convinced that my ego-personality was my true self. Like the Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde characters, I was convinced that Mr. Hyde was the real me that I had to keep hidden because he was capable of the worst kinds of crimes.
As I began to do the inner work that I now share in my Finding Freedom From Fear ACIM boot camp classes, I discovered my true self was actually very loving and caring. The more I did the work of letting go of the habit of judging everything and everyone, the more I began to feel like my TRUE Self.
This was a HUGE relief. I’ve learned that it’s SO very much easier to be our true selves.
My true self isn’t mean, unkind, judgmental, attacking, hurtful, weak, sniveling, foolish, or any other negative thing.
My true self is loving, compassionate, caring, open, available, harmonious, and FREE. It’s such a relief to discover that and to let the LOVE in.
Doing the inner work, and not just talking about it, I began to have breakthrough after breakthrough.
So often, when folks show up to do this inner healing work with me, they remind me of myself. I felt such deep inner pain that I was hiding from the world. I felt that it would come out “sideways” through tirades, or imploding into self-medication. I rarely felt that I was being authentic. I had a fear that IF my “true” self was seen people would run screaming for the hills as they do from Mr. Hyde.
I had NO IDEA how much energy it took to keep Mr. Hyde under control. It was that pain that was eating up my life and driving me to self-medicate. I didn’t think I’d ever been able to break free of my painful habits.
I discovered that I had SO MUCH to learn about Love and that Love itself would teach me if I would let it.
Love is the healer of all discord and all suffering.
I know that now.
The ego cannot conceive of it or imagine it because the ego thought system doesn’t include Love.
When I was identified with a small, selfish, and separate self, I couldn’t ever have believed that Love would heal my life. Loving myself and being in the flow of Love with others, that’s what does it.
Being in the flow of Love with EVERYONE not just “my” loved ones.
In class one time, we were deeply contemplating the lessons that we’d learned in this lifetime. We were having breakout sessions and some of the men came back to the larger group having reached the conclusion that the main lesson for them was remembering to Love.
For so, so long I resisted following my guidance. I was so reluctant to take even the most basic steps I knew to do. And that’s why I focus almost my entire energy now on supporting people who feel stuck playing small, living in the shadow, NOT following their guidance, feeling sick, and tired and who have a deep yearning to remember to Love.
It’s such a huge relief to be in the flow of Love after fighting it and feeling unworthy for so long. It’s such a huge relief to live more and more as my true self and to not be burdened with feeling bad and wrong about myself.
Remembering to Love is the way we get there.
The people who do this work are my heroes.
It takes courage and strength.
And I admire them so much.
Many don’t and won’t do this work because they cannot conceive that it will actually work for them. They’re convinced it works for others, but not for them, and so they don’t give it their best.
Instead, they read books and listen to audio and passively collect information about spiritual healing without actually doing the healing work within their own heart and their own awareness.
I’m getting ready to do my Finding Freedom From Fear spiritual boot camp class based on A Course in Miracles principles. If you feel you’re anything like me, please consider joining me for this powerful program. We make healing fun. We really do! It’s so comforting to be part of a group that’s actually doing the real work.
I feel completely different from how I used to feel. I feel truly blessed now, and my life has changed so much. I’m grateful Spirit cannot possibly fail. When we work with Spirit, we can’t fail either! And that’s what inspires me every single day of my life.