- Jennifer Hadley - https://jenniferhadley.com -

Be kind, rewind

When I lived in Los Angeles, I had a Blockbuster Video store [1] a few blocks from my house. I remember they had stickers on the videos that said “bee kind, rewind!” I had an experience recently that made me think of that expression in a new way.

One of the mental habits that I have deeply entrenched in my mind is to constantly correct myself and others. For me, helping myself and others to improve was an act of Love. I’ve come to see it differently. My heart has opened to a greater compassion.

I’ll give you an example from some years ago. I like to empower the people I work with and collaborate with to think things through and figure things out and not have me micro manage them. I had a friend I’d hired who was helping me with a number of things. I had given her a list of things with general instructions rather than specific. I figured she’s a smart lady and so I could say things like “get enough bags for everyone at the event.” She had a list of the people coming. She knew where to get the bags. Easy.

Well, it turned out that she got the wrong number of bags. She didn’t get enough for everyone and there was a last minute scramble. That kind of thing happened three or four times. At first, I thought I needed to learn more about what happened so I could be better at giving instructions. Did she understand how to determine how many people would be at the event and know how many bags to get? Yes, she did, but somehow she misunderstood. Life!

This kind of thing kept happening with us and I finally realized that my friend needed me to write things out very carefully and with detail in order for her to succeed. I also realized that sometimes she read things incorrectly. I don’t know, but I think she may have some visual or mental thing that’s happening and makes things appear differently to her.

My inclination was to point out these errors, but then, I realized I could keep that feedback to myself.

Everyone makes mistakes, and I notice I make them every day. I misperceive something and get it wrong or I’m not paying attention and miss something important. I’m super grateful when anyone can point these things out to me with loving kindness. I’d like all the help I can get.

But many times, if I share an observation that feels like a correction people don’t find it helpful or loving. They have so much self-criticism, worry, doubt and fear going on already that what I think is a loving and helpful comment is interpreted as more evidence that they’re failing at life.

I’m not interested in being critical. I’m interested in being truly helpful.

So, I’ve learned that it’s important for me to really feel into how my words will land on someone. I’m not perfect at it, but I’m getting better.

And many times, in order to be kind, I decide nothing needs to be said.

Sometimes when people make a mistake that can’t be corrected there’s no point in saying anything. Let’s say you ask someone to buy milk and they buy a kind you don’t like. Why say anything now? Save it for when they’re going to buy milk next time and eliminate triggering their unconscious guilt.

To me, not sharing those kinds of constructive criticisms or feedback is, many times, a way to “bee kind and rewind.”

I’m rewinding how I think about it. I’m looking at it from a different perspective. This feels truly helpful.

Let’s eliminate anything we could ever think or say that would poke anyone’s unconscious guilt. Instead, let’s transform the unconscious guilt by realizing that this world is an illusion and in our true Reality, all is well.

Oh, boy am I grateful for the healing power of spiritual practice to shift the mind from worry, fear, guilt, blame [2], shame and despair into Peace! I’m getting better and better at being able to realize when nothing needs to be said. It’s far more important for me to bless the situation and pray to know the truth [3].

It’s not about holding it in, or swallowing my feelings – it’s not that at all – for me it’s about realizing that there’s no good that will come from me saying anything because the person will just take it as their failure when it’s actually an opportunity to learn.

Every error I make is an opportunity to learn. I’m glad I see it that way, and not everyone does. For many, an error is a failure. To them, it’s proof of their unlovability.

That’s why in my Masterful Living [4] program we don’t judge and we don’t give advice. We focus [5] on cultivating an authentic and powerful willingness to transform the small mindedness, the attack thoughts and the self-criticism. It’s thrilling to see how much benefit it brings. When we transform our lives bit by bit, it’s. We go from hopeless to inspired. And then we can be an inspiration to others. And that’s a Real blessing!

Registration for my year-long course, Masterful Living Program [6], is open.  You can talk with a spiritual counselor to see if it’s right for you right now. There’s no charge. Click here now to book a free Exploratory Call. [7]

AND if you register for Masterful Living 2022 there are SO MANY bonuses! I’m READY to rock this new year and make it our best year ever. I’m taking out the mental trash, the emotional clutter and stepping into the Light. Please join us. This is the best offering I’ve ever made!

We’re walking the talk, we’re living the Love and we’re rising above!

This year, we’re being the change we’d like to see by opening our hearts to Love like never before. The pandemic cannot stop us from being loving. Love is our healer. Love is our focus.

If you’re interested in Masterful Living, but not sure, book an appointment with a spiritual counselor now to see if it’s right for you. There’s no charge to have an Exploratory Call. Click here now to book a free Exploratory Call. [7]

With Masterful Living you also get $500 off my Stop Playing Small Retreat! What? Yes, it’s true $500 off! – get all the details when you click here. [6]