I hated myself for doing that

February 12, 2022

We can live from the mountaintop view. We can rise above the battlefield.

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The time is SO ripe for a breakthrough!  Can you feel it too?

Often, right before the very biggest breakthroughs it seems really dark and hopeless.  The temptation to give up can be so strong.  It’s then that we can remember to Partner UP and stop going it alone.  When we feel alone and on our own, it feels hopeless.

We’re never alone and on our own, no matter how it feels.  Our willingness to Partner UP is what brings on a breakthrough – to put Spirit in charge.

This life is about the journey, not the destination – we hear that all the time, and yet we still focus on the destination.  Sometimes we even make the journey very unpleasant by judging ourselves every step of the way.  Been there, done that.  

We judge our experience on the journey so far, when there’s no added benefit to doing that.  After all, we learn through contrast, and it’s a journey of contrast, peaks and valleys, ebb and flow.

Think of Dr. King and his beautiful, powerful and deeply inspiring mountain top speech. King told us that, in his heart and mind, he had felt and seen the fulfillment of his dream.  He declared it in this, his very last speech, one of my all-time favorites.   King said he knew he might not get to the promised land with us in form, but he had seen the coming glory and knew it was real.  

In this speech, on the eve of his assassination, he told us he knew he had played his part, as difficult and grueling as it was and he was grateful.  He was filled with gratitude at having played his part and for being able to truly know the coming glory.  That’s the way to live our life.  

Let us be grateful that we can play our part in learning what it feels like to live in despair and then decide to move out of it.   As we learn to grow towards the Light of our own being, we teach it, we demonstrate it, we share it.  That’s a good and beautiful purpose and I’m glad for it.

Let us be grateful that we can play our part in learning what it feels like to live in self-judgment and then finally decide to love ourselves and move forward in that discovery where the Love is that much more precious because we had to dig for it.

Let us be grateful that we can play our part in learning what it feels like to blame others for our problems and live in resentment and then finally decide to release the judgment, forgive ourselves for straying off course,  and then discover all the wisdom, all the healing that was encoded into everything that we had labeled as a betrayal.  

Let us be grateful that we can play our part in learning what it feels like to live a loveless life of manipulating and controlling others and finally realize that only giving without attachment brings Love and happiness.

Let us be willing to catch the vision of our future glory and hold it in our hearts now with a deep and abiding gratitude, allowing it to manifest as our very life.  

Let us enjoy the journey together and drop all judgment, all criticism and all blame so we can truly live the intended glory of our life now.  NOW.  Now is the time for us to DECIDE we’re done with playing small, and living in lack and limitation.  Now is the time for us to choose to move towards the Light in a dedicated and devoted way.

I’m a huge proponent of becoming dedicated and devoted.

The more dedicated I am to Spirit, the more I can feel Spirit’s dedication to me.
It’s always been there, but now I can really FEEL how supported I am.

Before, I was rejecting all the Love of the Universe because I didn’t feel worthy.
It’s actually a discipline we have to learn in order to let Love in.

It sometimes seems as though we don’t have what it takes to really have a powerful spiritual practice because we’ve left a long trail of broken promises that we’ve made to ourselves.  I know A LOT about that. 

No matter what the past has been, we can start again in this moment and the key to our success will ALWAYS be allowing Spirit to do the heavy lifting of figuring out how the healing will happen.

We don’t have to figure out HOW.
Our one job is to ALLOW.

Spirit knows the way.  Life IS Love and Love knows the way.  There is that within us that knows, and we can ALLOW ourselves to be led.  Let us be dedicated and devoted to the truth.

Dedication to Love not to rules, and limitation.
Devotion to being kind, generous of heart, patient, and helpful has transformed my life because it has kept my attention on Love.

I used to be angry most of the time.  
I felt bitter and resentful much of the time.  

I would look for things to be upset about, in order to release some of the steam that was building up inside me.  I’d blast it out all over people for any reason whatsoever.  I didn’t think about others, I was only hurting and needing to explode.  

I felt entitled to hijack the conversation, the day, the event, the dinner, or whatever was going on.  I’d hijack it with my desperation and my upset.  

Ultimately, I realized, I hated myself for doing that and I had to learn to stop.

I had to be willing.

I became very determined to learn patience, kindness and generosity of heart and to practice it NO MATTER WHAT.  It wasn’t easy for me.  It was extremely challenging and yet, just like when you challenge your physical body to strengthen through working out really hard, you can train your mind to be stronger and more fit.  

And that’s what A Course in Miracles is.  
It’s a mind training system that works.  
When we apply it.

Learning to apply it is challenging.

It was challenging for me only because my willingness to be loving was so much weaker than my need to be right about everything.  

My need to be right came from weakness.  
I was weak at being loving.  
I was focused on being angry and hurt and that’s what weakened me.  
Every time I acted it out, I felt even more weak.  

What strengthened me was choosing to be loving. 
Love is our healer.
Love is our strength.

And that’s why I offer my Masterful Living Program now – because when we do it together it’s SO much easier.  I’ve reopened registration for a 1 week and it’s up on Monday – then registration is closed till next year.  If you’re ready to make a real and lasting change, we’d love to have you join us.

I decided to have 1 goal – and that goal was to simply be loving.

Spirit is always for us and never against us and we can learn to rely upon that and when we do, we feel carried and lifted to much higher ground.  Like, MLK, we can start to see and feel the promised land and recognize that it is within us.  It has been there all along!

Masterful Living 2022 registration has reopened for ONLY 2 days.  IT CLOSES TOMORROW, Monday, February 14.  If you’d like support to decide if this class is right for you right now, consider signing up for a free Exploratory Call. No pressure. No sales. You’ll connect with a Spiritual Counselor who has taken Masterful Living, done the work, and can answer your specific questions. It’s totally free for you. Click here to sign up for an Exploratory Call.

TODAY’S WORKSHOP:  We all have resistance to our awakening, and to having trust and faith in Spirit.  If you recognize this is your issue and you’re holding yourself back from spiritual growth – join me – My workshop for Eliminating Resistance & Reluctance is later today. Click here to learn more.

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