Afraid to Trust Spirit

March 15, 2022

Taking time for Spirit is a way to honor myself.

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Do you ever feel betrayed?  Do you feel like you have wounds from betrayals that have never healed?  Does it ever feel as though the wounds will NEVER heal?  I understand!  No matter how painful it’s been, the healing can happen right now.  All it takes is a sincere willingness.

And it’s a willingness to change our minds, a willingness to place our trust in Spirit.  

I was afraid to trust Spirit (like everybody else).

My learning showed me that for so long I was the one who was untrustworthy, not Spirit.

I would make vows I didn’t keep.  

“I’m not going to eat any of those cookies!”

… And the next thing I know I’ve eat the rest of them!  

Then the thinking goes like this:

“At least now the temptation is over with.  

That feels better.  

What a loser I am for eating all those cookies.  

Ugh.  

Why can’t I ever just keep my agreements with myself?  

What’s wrong with me?

When will I ever learn?”

And on, and on, and on.

I was the one who wasn’t trustworthy.

Why wasn’t I trustworthy?

Because I was identified with ego – the judger – and the judger, the ego, is never, ever worthy of trust.  

Because I betrayed myself, people showed up in my life to mirror that back to me.  

Which just led me to more self-betrayal because I didn’t feel worthy of Love.  

And the cycle continued and continued until I became willing to be faithFULL.

It’s a switch in the mind – this willingness – we can actually LEARN to place our faith in Love.  It’s a skill we can learn.

I have learned it and I think that’s SO cool.

We can trust Love, or we can trust our judgments and opinions.

My way now is to give it all to the Higher Holy Spirit Self and say: You decide for me! I’m all in for Love!

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