I’m an optimistic complainer

March 20, 2022
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I admit it.  I used to be a chronic complainer.  

I’ve made a MASSIVE shift in my thinking over the years, for which I’m tremendously grateful because it’s taken me from a grumpy and agitated state of mind to a happy and peaceful experience of life.

I used to walk into a room and immediately see everything (and everyone) that I didn’t like.  I’d start labeling what I didn’t like as bad and wrong.  I was fault finding.  I was gathering up all the justifications for my complaints.  

I sabotaged my happiness, my relationships and so much of my life with this way of operating in the world.

I’d walk into a situation and start sharpening my arrows, and preparing my attack thoughts that I’d use if I felt threatened or defensive.  If I felt insecure, I could start attacking and that would be my way to keep the separation going.  I’d think:  “I’m not like you.  I’m different.”  

Weirdly, I’m also an eternal optimist. 

I don’t see the glass as half full.  Because even if it’s only half filled with liquid, the other half is filled with oxygen.  

So, it’s full, right?

I always look on the bright side – unless I’m complaining.

This is an important thing to understand about people who complain:  They feel let down by life.  They feel insecure and afraid.  They feel powerless in some way and so the only power they have in the situation is to not like it, and not approve – to withhold their Love.

I’d bet you that everyone who tends to be a complaining personality withholds Love and approval as a punishment in their relationships.

For me, I felt like that was the only power that I had.

When I was a kid, there were many situations where I didn’t like what was going on – as there are for every child in this world, if only because we can’t eat dessert first.  We don’t get to buy as much candy as we want.  We have to eat our vegetables.  We can’t stay up with the grown-ups and we have to go to bed even when we don’t want to, and on and on.  Life doesn’t seem fair.

For me, the power that I had was to resist, to complain, to be vociferous in my complaints, to withhold agreement, to withhold Love.  I had the power to let everyone know:  I DON’T LIKE THIS!  And punish them for it.

It got to be a habit that I brought into adulthood, and that I finally realized was robbing me of enjoying my life.  I finally realized that I am responsible for what I see, what I experience and that I choose the feelings I would have.

I decided to start appreciating things instead of complaining.

I began to realize that whether I understand it or not, everything in this life is working together for good.  When things seem really awful, there will still be much good that will come from it.

That doesn’t mean, for instance, that this horrific attack on Ukraine is a good thing.  Of course it’s NOT a good thing.  However, no matter how painful it is, there will be MUCH good to come from it.

I absolutely KNOW that God, uses everything for good.  And that’s our job to fulfill, because we ARE the part of God that will bring that goodness to fruition.

The German holocaust was an unimaginable nightmare of human depravity and cruelty.  Still, there’s been tremendous good that’s come from it.  Spirit takes the pain and punishment the ego-identified people make, and uses it as fertilizer for good.

The pain and suffering we experience becomes compost to grow compassion, which is loving understanding.

Our job is to get out of the way of thinking that it’s all bad and to claim the good.

Labeling things bad, when we cannot see through all directions of time and space in order to know what things are truly for, is yet another form of self-sabotage.

All self-sabotage is for the purpose of slowing down our spiritual growth by distracting us from being loving and being a beneficial presence in this world.

Some of the good news is that we can choose to stop learning through painful experience, and instead we can choose to remember what the truth is and experience the Joy of that remembrance.

How do we do that?
How do we shift from painful learning to joyful remembering?

We turn away from complaining.
We turn away from valuing our attack thoughts.

We decide to value truth, more than our thoughts about things.
We recognize that when we’re upset, it’s because we’re choosing to see through the lens of the past, and we can go the other way.

We stay in connection with Spirit.
We stop trying to escape the painful feelings, and we learn to use them to propel us into awakened awareness.

This is my passion.  It’s always exciting for me.

I am beyond grateful that I’ve been able to learn how to change my mind, lay the attack thoughts aside and go the other way.  This is what I’m most grateful for.

Coming back into my right mind is the greatest gift of all!

STARTING ON SATURDAY: my Challenge to End Self-Sabotage.  This is a powerful program to help you release the patterns of self-punishment and self-medication that leave us feeling helpless, hopeless and foolish.  We have a lot of fun and people often experience life-changing shifts.  Click here to learn more now!

I have two podcast episodes that I’ve done that may be helpful to you – one is called Self-Sabotage Is Self-Abuse and the other is called Quickening Your Awakening. Both are in the podcast for my radio show and you can find them here at LivingACourseinMiracles.com.  

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