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There’s a difference between using our power, the power of Spirit that we can all connect to, and being forceful. I’m talking about the power of Love vs. the use of force.
I used to believe that it was OK to manipulate people with my moods and attitudes. I grew up thinking that having an attitude, or getting into a mood was a way to effectively control and manipulate people to have them pay attention to me and do what I wanted.
When I felt powerless, I’d find some way to feel more powerful. At the very least, I used to think, I can push people’s buttons and agitate them. It was the misuse of “power.”
I learned that if I was angry people would try to appease me.
I learned that if I was cold and distant people would inquire what was wrong and try to help me.
I learned that if I was sad people might comfort me.
Mostly I learned that manipulating people made me feel sick energetically.
Still, sometimes it felt like all that I had.
I didn’t realize that it was because my unloving thoughts had disconnected me from the Source of All Power.
In my relationships I found that others were manipulating me as much as I was manipulating them. It all felt SUPER uncomfortable, but that’s just the way it was. Everybody did it.
As I began to achieve some spiritual maturity I realized that manipulating others, for any reason or in any way was a source of my suffering and theirs. Manipulation lacks authenticity and discourages intimacy – two things I deeply value in my relationships now.
I dropped the controlling and manipulating behaviors and now I notice that I rarely encounter anyone who tries to pull that behavior with me. If they do, I have compassion, because I know it comes from a place of deep wounding and suffering and I’m interested in Love, which is our healer.
I invite you to take a look at where you give yourself permission to manipulate people with your moods and attitudes. It creates more trouble than it could ever be worth. The worst fall out is that it will degrade your personal sense of self-esteem and worthiness, and that leads to even more manipulative behaviors.
On the other hand, having loving relationships, being respectful, authentic and honest builds self-esteem and worthiness and that’s a far better investment of our precious energy.
We start where we are. Today’s the day to begin a new.
Now is always the perfect time to make loving choices.
My Stop Playing Small Online Retreat starts Friday, May 13
If you’d like support for making a shift from playing small in your heart, living in lack and limitation, getting in your own way, to living from Love and feeling more free and focused, check out my Stop Playing Small retreat – it’s online – you’ve never had so much FUN clearing out the mental and emotional clutter! Fear won’t stop us! Click here for more details.