Ego Loses, Everyone Wins

July 3, 2022

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The violence of this world is often the result of people feeling like a victim and acting out.  People sometimes feel powerless, inadequate, ashamed, hurt and afraid and it festers and ferments until it becomes rage that explodes.  

For a moment, let’s consider how we talk about anger.  We say things like:  He’s mad at them.  

I’m mad AT them.  

It sounds like shouting at, throwing something at.  

Sometimes we say:  they make me so mad.

They MAKE me.

Can you feel how our language and thought can be focused on being separate and being a victim or an attacker.  “they make me so angry” and “ He’s mad at them” are the kind of thinking that we, you and I are here to heal.

The fastest path I know of to healing this human insanity of victim and attacker, which is what terrorism is all about, is taking total responsibility for what you see and what you experience.  0% blame, 100% responsibility.

If you feel angry about ANYTHING, you’re probably also afraid about something, and underneath that fear is usually some deep sense of hurt or betrayal.  The fear underneath the anger is usually because we haven’t recovered from some past hurt or betrayal, and we’re still holding onto judgment about what happened (remembered or not remembered) and we’re afraid of being hurt or betrayed again – we’re afraid of being poked again in an unhealed wound.

When the wound is deep enough, people can’t handle it anymore.  Rage is a form of insanity.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve felt intense rage.  I’ve felt rage and directed it at myself, at my loved ones and at strangers.  

I’m willing to admit that I’ve intentionally tried to hurt or wound people because I felt threatened by them.  In my past, there were times when my ego was convinced best defense was a good offense.  Unfortunately, it’s not true.  Fortunately, I learned from it and have forgiven myself.

The teaching about responsibility is essential to our waking up and living a joyful life AND it is absolutely unacceptable to the ego.  The ego will reject it every time.  Consider this:

“I am responsible for what I see.  I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I would achieve.  And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked.”  ~ A Course in Miracles

If you think about the great spiritual teachers who have led many to healing in their own heart and mind, and those who have inspired us, they all teach taking responsibility.  

Responsibility is very different from blame.  For me, taking responsibility necessarily includes realizing that there’s something for me to learn.  I have a willingness to learn, and I have an ability to learn.  I can learn and grow and bring benefit to all – that’s the motivation for taking responsibility.

It helps to remember what it says early on in ACIM:  Nothing real can be threatened.  

We’re in a world where the curriculum is about learning the difference between total responsibility and blame.  The difference IS our liberation.  

The ends is in the means.  The means to a peaceful world is Peace.  Peace IS the way.  If we would like to live in a peaceful world we must be willing to be peaceful.  We cannot help by looking at the world and being mad AT them or thinking they MADE us angry.  The only way the world can heal is if we heal the habit of blame.  There’s nothing loving about blaming.  

In the simplest human interactions where there’s a sense of upset, when people can take responsibility for their part in it, then compassion flows, forgiveness flows, judgment dissolves, the walls of separation come down.  

Ego loses.  Everyone wins.  

If the world frightens you – take responsibility for your part in it.  Be willing to look very carefully around your life to where you are terrorizing your self.  Look deeply into that and heal that in yourself – it will shift the world.  

Anger is a cry for Love.
Compassion is the only healing answer.  

When you feel angry, train yourself to go right to self-compassion.  As your mind heals, the world around you will heal.  You’ll be amazed at the difference in your family, your workplace and your life.  Go for it!

This is how we actively change the world by changing our mind about the world.  Let’s practice together today and be truly helpful!

P.S.  If you’re interested in truly LIVING A Course in Miraclesthen you may be interested in the upcoming class with kironJ Gardner Living with Holy Purpose.  Last week I released an episode of my podcast with kironJ on this beautiful topic! It’s a bit of a preview of the July Classes with her! If you’re ready for a deep and healing dive into ACIM, check out this class!

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