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Have you ever been bullied? I have. Have you ever been the bully? I have. I’ve been on both sides of the experience and what I’ve learned is that the one who acts like a bully is really offering a cry for Love.
I used to bully people when I didn’t like what was going on. I can still feel that energy rise up in me from time to time. It feels quite toxic. It leaves a terrible ‘hangover” of guilt, regret and self-hatred.
Being a bully, to me, feels like self-hatred spewed outward.
Often times the person who seems like a bully feels so weak and helpless that the only they choice they can see in order to regain their footing and their sense of self is to try to push other people around. People who act like a bully, will bully themselves too.
The one who bullies is usually afraid because they’re convinced that if they don’t get their way that things will be bad, wrong, and unbearable. They are so afraid that things will go badly that they will be willing to ruin their relationships in order to get their way. It’s a form of temporary insanity.
Any form of anger or cruelty is temporary insanity. Let’s have compassion for the one who behaves insanely. Let’s have compassion for the one who is so afraid that they have to intimidate others in order to feel safe. There’s no safety in intimidation. It’s pure insanity.
Having compassion doesn’t mean we tolerate their behavior. It means not returning the attack, but responding with Love. Like the students who were trained in nonviolence during the 1960’s civil rights movement.
It might seem hard to believe that the one who acts like a bully feels weak and afraid, but it’s true.
Having compassion for the person who feels weak and afraid, even if they’re acting like a bully, can be healing and transformative.
A person who behaves like a bully is often expressing anger – and that anger is really a sign of fear and hurt. Let’s stop looking at the surface and treating the symptoms – let’s go to the root cause and do our healing work!
Let’s extend Love and compassion to the one who acts like a bully – whether it’s oneself or someone else.
The healing always starts with our willingness. Love IS our healer. Compassion IS Love.
Interacting with someone who acts like a bully, whether it’s internal or external is no fun. However, healing is always available to us when we are willing to choose Love.
Choosing Love isn’t always easy, sometimes it is tremendously challenging – and, in my experience, it’s ALWAYS worth the effort. In fact, the more challenging it is to choose Love, the more benefit there is for us in making the loving choice.
Let’s choose Love today! Let’s find compassion in our hearts for those who behave like a bully. Let’s expand our ability to choose Love to the maximum. Let’s maximize all of the healing opportunities there are for us. Let’s really go for it this year!!
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