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This is #4 in a series that began a couple of days ago with my Spiritual Espresso on Passive Aggressive Pain.
In part 1, I shared about Anger As Passive Agressive Behavior. In part 2, I shared about the first step to permanently eliminating passive aggressive pain. In part 3, I shared how I became victorious over the habit of choosing passive aggressive behavior, I AM Victorious.
Today, I’d like to share another of the most valuable practices I know in permanently eliminating any negative behavior, belief and pattern.
First let me say, of course, there have been countless numbers of times when the ego got so triggered so fast that I just went into the old patterns. But I can see now that even those challenges were helpful to me. One of the primary ways we remember the truth that sets us free is through learning from contrast.
We can repeat the past, learn through contrast, or we can decide to wake up and remember what we already know. We can learn through pain or we can learn joyfully. It’s our choice.
When I would get triggered and repeat the old pattern and upsets I would have an extremely visceral reminder that the old way is not the productive way. And in those moments I would decide that the old way was not MY way anymore. With the old way of being passive-aggressive and engaging in controlling and manipulative behavior, I’d remember the painful difference between choosing separation and choosing Love. The pain (and often humiliation) helped me to remember to choose Love more often because it felt better.
Reacting out of the old patterns over and over and OVER again, I felt the pain of having missed an opportunity to be loving and that too would be painful. I became aware that I might only have one encounter with a person in my whole life. I cultivated a desire to make every encounter a loving one. I’m still not always able to remember, but I don’t berate myself when I miss the opportunity. I practice non-judgment and forgiveness instead.
I strengthen my commitment to Love and to being loving by choosing to be loving with myself in the moment, and then I’m immediately back in the flow of Love and feeling better.
Which leads me back to where I started today. One of the most helpful and healing practices I have is being grateful and celebrating my victories. It’s not about how often we forget to be loving, it’s about how often we remember. We focus on our remembering and then we celebrate those victories.
I can remember one of the very first ego-victories I had, in 1990, I consciously saw that I was able to discern the opportunity to be patient with myself, to choose Love and I was grateful. I was oh, so grateful that I had found the power and the Self-Love to make a different choice. It felt good to celebrate my victory. I was turning the ship around.
I encourage you to make a daily habit of celebrating your victories. Love and gratitude are the most basic spiritual practice that will completely transform your life. They build momentum daily.
Spiritual practice is what changed my life. Reading books and listening to audios was interesting, but it’s my practical application that made the difference.
Studying spirituality and applying what I’ve learned are two very different things. If we study spirituality and think we know it, but don’t cultivate a living spiritual practice, we are just entertaining the ego with spiritual information and that’s actually a distraction and a form of proctastination.
The time is ripe for our awakening. WE are ripe for awakening! Eliminating passive-aggressive behavior is a great way to take out the mental and emotional trash and bring more Love and Light into our lives.
Step 1 – recognize the pain that passive-aggressive behavior causes and commit to eliminating it.
Step 2 – Let Spirit show you the way – follow the steps I gave you in the second part of this series.
Step 3 – Commit to staying in your heart, and co-creating with Spirit a life you really enjoy.
Step 4 – Practice gratitude. Celebrate your victories, and the victories of those around you – recognize the healing that’s happening and be thankful for it!
These four steps can really support you in making a big change in a short amount of time. I know because I’ve done it and I continue to work the same four steps. I feel this is so critical to our ending war and living in Peace.
All boats rise on this tide of Love. We start with ourselves and daily we can move the entire world in the direction of Peace. Every one of us has our part of the plan.
Let’s get to it with excitement that we are on a path of VICTORY!
Do you feel like you’re playing small and you’re tired of it?
Would you like to make a real and lasting shift and have fun doing it?
THIS WEEK: My Stop Playing Small Online Retreat starts Friday, Sept 9. If you’d like support for making a shift from playing small in your heart, living in lack and limitation, getting in your own way, to living from Love and feeling more free and focused, check out my Stop Playing Small retreat – it’s online – you’ve never had so much FUN clearing out the mental and emotional clutter! Fear won’t stop us! Click here for more details.
MY LATEST ACIM PODCAST EPISODE: my topic is The War Against Yourself. Life doesn’t have to be a battle.