One of the things I’ve noticed about many people is that we often get upset when people we care about are upset. Sometimes we get upset when anyone around or near us is upset. We can be like dominos.
Have you ever made someone you love to feel bad because you were upset with their being upset? It sounds crazy, but it’s very common. It’s as though we’re punishing them for upsetting us with their upset. Yikes!
When someone we love is upset, we can actually make them wrong or bad, guilty, or ashamed for being upset, just because we feel threatened and we don’t like it. That’s so intense! I know I used to do this. I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t awake enough to pay attention to what I was doing. I was like a ping pong ball jumping all over the place.
One of the first spiritual strengths I developed was the ability to take a breath and calm down.
Then, I could learn to be patient.
I still don’t do it perfectly, but I am perfecting my ability to keep calm respond with kindness no matter what.
It’s a great goal.
There’s always some success.
And there’s always room for improvement.
One of the great things we can learn to do is to keep calm in challenging situations.
It’s not about denying how we feel. For me, staying calm is about having trust and faith that everything works together for good and there are no exceptions. So, even someone being upset can be for everyone’s good if we’re willing to allow Spirit to show us how that can be.
Cultivating the skill of staying loving even when things are upsetting is a wonderful ability to have. It really is life-changing. It’s transformative because it’s loving and Love is transformative!
Pay attention next time someone you Love is upset – and see if you make them wrong or offer compassion. Then see how you do when someone you don’t Love is upset! Can you have just as much compassion?