Archive for the ‘Self-Love’ Category


Thursday, July 30th, 2020

I love raspberries.

I just love them.  One of my treats in the summer was to pick fresh wild raspberries up at our family house in Maine and then bake raspberry pie.  Hot raspberry pie with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream.  YUM!

For so many years, decades, I didn’t allow myself to buy raspberries because they were too expensive.

I could splurge on other things, but not raspberries and not flowers.  For some reason these things just seemed too extravagant to me.

Yes, it’s true raspberries used to be more expensive than they are now.

It’s true that orchids and flowers, were more expensive than they are now.

AND it’s also true that money was worth more than it used to be which means they were really, accounting for inflation considerably more expensive than they are now.

Still, the issue wasn’t the extra cost, it was really that I didn’t believe I was worth it.  I thought I didn’t deserve to splurge on myself in that way.  I could splurge to be self-destructive, but not to just give myself a treat.

It’s crazy the way the mind works out these things.  

My invitation to you is to look at what are the little things you might be denying yourself because of a worthiness false belief.  

We can undo these false beliefs by addressing them directly.

I started buying orchids.

I started buying raspberries.  

I AM worth it!  

Now, worthiness doesn’t enter into it – if I feel like having raspberries I get them.  I am grateful for my healing and share the benefits of every morsel of healing I have with YOU because I’m one with you.  Please do the same for me and for all beings!


Train In the Distance

Friday, July 17th, 2020

I’m in Vermont and enjoying the sounds of the countryside here in the Green Mountains near the Sunray Peace Village where I’ve been coming since 2006. I just LOVE the sounds of the birds. They lift me up all day long.

When I’m in Maine, on Deer Isle, in the summer one of the great sounds I dearly love is the sound of the foghorn in the distance. It’s faint, and so you don’t hear it all the time. The wind has to be right. It’s odd to really love the sound of the foghorn – after all, it’s a warning signal.

What I love is that it reminds me that I’m in a place I dearly love. I’ve been hearing it since 1986 and it feels like home to me. I love to sit on the porch and just listen to the birds and the foghorn. Maybe the waves lapping at the rocks if the tide is high. The call of the Osprey.

I love the sound of Paul Simon’s music and he wrote a song called Train In the Distance that is absolutely gorgeous. In the lyric of that beautiful song he says

“Everybody loves the sound of a train in the distance
Everybody thinks it’s true.”

It’s a clever lyric. I do think everyone loves the sound of a train in the distance. It makes sense to me.

When I think of the sound of a train in the distance it instantly transports me to my childhood and summer nights at my grandparents’ house in Bowling Green, Ohio. It’s a hot summer night with the windows open. Crickets and the train whistle in the distance. Feels like summer time, family love, hot nights, vacation time.

Everybody loves the sound of a train in the distance. Everybody thinks it’s true. I think that Paul Simon means that we hear the sound of something good coming, and we believe in it, we believe it’s real and true.

At the end of the song he says, “the thought that life could be better is woven indelibly into our hearts and our brains.”

The train in the distance is symbolic of that belief that life could be better.

Yes, I get it. I can agree with it.

Life can be better.
This is written in our heart.
And we are reaching for it, are we not?

Can we ever be satisfied with anything less than our awakened self?
I don’t think so. Why would we when we don’t have to be?
We’re going home, to the Real world and our true identity in Spirit.

The still small voice reminds us every day that we can choose higher. No shame if we don’t, but what a reward when we do!


Trust As A Skill

Wednesday, July 15th, 2020

We all have challenges going on in our life that we’d rather not look at. We want to hide and run from them. I was talking a bit about this in my podcast yesterday. Many times, we choose to avoid looking at them because they’re overwhelming to us. It’s not that we’re completely unwilling to examine what’s going on, we’re just overwhelmed. It’s too much for us to handle. We don’t have the inner resources.

Sometimes it can feel that we simply don’t have the energy, the mental or emotional bandwidth, the time to look at something and so we just keep pushing it to the sideline. What then begins to happen is that tension begins to build.

Some people have a habit of denying, delaying and procrastinating until there’s so much tension they HAVE to do something.

Sometimes we treat our life like one of those rubber-band airplanes that you wind up tighter and tighter until we have enough tension to fly.

What I’ve learned is that if I wait until there’s an intense pressure before I make a move, then I’m creating stress that may not be necessary.

We’re developing the spiritual maturity to address things directly and without delay. It makes life easier, cleaner, neater and dramatically eases tension.

Being Self-loving is healing. We often look outside ourselves for all kinds of healing solutions to physical, emotional, mental, financial, relationship and many other kinds of issues, but the solution is often to be kind and loving to ourselves.

When we’re Self-loving, then we naturally open to divinely inspired solutions to our challenges and we don’t have to have lots of simmering pots on the back burners. We don’t have to create an unbearable tension in order to choose to fly, we can steadily and devotedly Love ourselves free of lack, attack and limitation and then life gets a whole lot easier. Spiritual solutions naturally present themselves.

Let’s make a commitment to making the Self-loving choices that make life more enjoyable and more successful.

Let’s decide that we can transcend overwhelm. Instead of looking outside for solutions, let’s discover how problems actually dissolve when we live a life of Self-Love. It might sound crazy, but Love really is the healer of problems.

How do we do it? We Partner UP and trust spirit to lead us and guide us. This is the way that works. It’s far more nurturing then managing and coping. It does require a willingness to trust – and that’s a skill that can be learned.

It can be difficult to trust, but if we’re willing it will become a new skill.

We’ll all get there eventually. Why not start today?


No Comparison

Friday, July 3rd, 2020

When I lived in West Hollywood, I took yoga classes with models and movie stars. The competition for the title of “the most beautiful woman in the room” was intense. The more beautiful women there were, the more insecure women there were. It was a real learning for me.

In yoga class, it was easy to fall into comparing myself to others who were not only fitter than me, more attractive by cultural standards and more famous.

I haven’t ever been able to do a handstand. Many of the women in class with me could easily do handstands. I learned to say to myself “I can do that. Just not today.” It helped me to get over my comparisons.

One of the biggest points of pain we have is the suffering we experience caused by the habit of comparing ourselves to others. Only the ego compares. The heart knows we are united in Oneness.

When we’re comparing ourselves to others, more often than not we’re looking to come up short. We’re intending to find ourselves as failing. It’s an act of self-sabotage. It’s adding insult to injury. Can it possibly bring any benefit? No. None. It’s just a trick of the ego to help us feel more separate.

Comparison always leads to more suffering.

Whether we compare and think we’ve come out ahead or come out lacking, since there’s only one, either way we just feel more separate.

If I love my friend, would I encourage them to compare themselves to someone who seems better than them or more special? I would never say to a friend, “you’re not the best cook. I know a few other people I like better than you who are also much better cooks. You’re not so great. You’re just ok.”

Of course I wouldn’t say that to someone I cared about.
But people say things like that to themselves ALL THE TIME.

And it hurts!
It wears us down.

Comparison is judgment. All judgment is for the purpose of reinforcing separation. All belief in separation causes feelings of fear. Comparison is PURE separation thinking.

Let’s have an active practice of relating to others rather than comparing.

Let’s get into feeling the unity of all life.

Let’s watch our mind when it comes to comparing, attacking and needing or wanting to be better than someone else. The habit of comparing can be really sneaky, but since there’s no good that can come of it, just let it go every time you see it.

I find one of the best ways to let a negative thought pattern go is to make myself laugh about it. So, that’s why in my classes we say “compare and despair.” The rhyme helps us to be light-hearted and to remember to laugh. And let’s face it, it also reminds not to go down the road of despair!

There’s great healing that can come from our spiritual practice and it’s a benefit to all beings!

If you’d like to have a major increase in your choosing self-Love and kindness, you might like my Finding Freedom From Fear, spiritual boot camp class with ACIM principles. I haven’t offered this class in 9 months – this is your chance, if you’d like to join me and GO FOR IT!

PLUS, I’m recording all new classes.

If this is right for you right now, you’ll know it.

Trust your intuition! If you’ve been thinking about doing my Finding Freedom From Fear Boot camp for a while, but just haven’t been ready, consider booking an exploratory call with one of the spiritual counselors. They can answer all your questions and you’ll know what’s best for you. Book an exploratory call today!

My Finding Freedom From Fear spiritual boot camp isn’t for everyone – it’s for those who are willing to dive in and live the Love. Click here now to learn more.

We begin MONDAY, July 6! With a BONUS CLASS on July 5th. This is going to be SO good because I am ON FIRE!

Let’s have REAL and lasting transformation this summer with spiritual practice that brings benefit and healing for all. Now is the time for us to dive deep and eliminate the patterns of fear in our life. I thank you for being on the journey with me!


Self-Nourishing Spiritual Practice

Wednesday, June 17th, 2020

Phew!  Yesterday was an INTENSE day for a lot of people.  I felt the intensity from the moment I first woke up.  And, I have a Fitbit, so I also track my sleep and normally I have close to 4 hours of deep sleep and I had half that.  There’s so much intensity in the human experience right now it’s important that we take good care of ourselves.

One thing I’ve found very helpful is salt water baths.  Get a regular box of salt, I do prefer sea salt, you can usually get one for $2 at the grocery store – you don’t need a fancy kind.  Pour at least half of it in your bath water and soak in it.  The saltwater helps to reset your electrical system.  You will feel better.  

Another way to do it is get into the bath, pour some salt in your hand and rub it on your wet skin.  It will be the perfect exfoliant and will give you an extra benefit.  

I have found that it is so helpful to consider my self-care as part of my spiritual practice.  

I take good care of my hands, my feet, my skin, and that nurturing is part of my spiritual practice of self-care.

For an extra dollar or two (not more than that) I can get the organic lotion.  

I buy mostly organic shampoo, lotion and soap and it doesn’t cost me much more than regular things – perhaps $20 in a year.

I’m worth it.

I’ve discovered that having a break from the business, sitting outside, listening to the birds, not being on my phone or computer, being with Mother Nature – that’s self-loving and a spiritual practice.

Opening the windows and getting fresh air in the room.  This shifts the energy and support me and other living beings.

I have plants that give off lots of oxygen in the rooms I spend the most time in.  And part of my spiritual practice is to connect with them, acknowledge them and appreciate them.  They love it and anyone can tell because they’re so vibrant.

Taking time to really look at the trees, the sky, the people in our life, the food that we’re eating give us an opportunity to take in the Beauty that life is offering us ALL the time.

I remember hearing Dr. David Hawkins sharing that exposing little children to Beauty was one of the most nourishing things we can do for them.  Well, the same is true for adults.

When people don’t love themselves they can fall into ruts of living in a deprived state.  

Even people with very few resources can be nourished and uplifted with Beauty.  Look around yourself, do you live in a deprived way?  Is your world warm and inviting?  Is it welcoming to people and Spirit?    

What are some of the ways you self-care and self-nourish that are part of your daily spiritual practice?  Please share in the comments below!

Would you like some support to bring on a breakthrough?  
If you feel like you might be playing small and hiding your light under a bushel because of your beliefs about yourself, if you think maybe those beliefs are false and could be eliminated, and if you have a willingness to do some inner work to make a real and lasting change then please consider joining me and some other folks just like you who are SO DONE WITH PLAYING SMALL and ready to let those patterns go.

My Stop Playing Small Retreat was going to be in the UK this month, but now it’s being offered ONLINE, so all can join. This online retreat is for folks who are frustrated with feeling stuck and fearful. It’s designed for those who’d like to bring on a breakthrough so they can move forward with confidence toward their heart’s desire in any area of their life. Click here for details. If you aren’t sure if it’s right for you right now, book an Exploratory Call with one of the spiritual counselors. The call is free and you’ll find benefit in addition to getting all your questions answered.

TAKE ACTION! If you’re interested in either the Stop Playing Small Retreat or Finding Freedom From Fear Spiritual Bootcamp, but you aren’t sure if it’s right for you right now, book an Exploratory Call with one of the spiritual counselors. The call is free and you’ll find benefit in addition to getting all your questions answered. Click here now to book an Exploratory Call with a Spiritual Counselor.

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Sign up for my Stop Playing Small online retreat and you’ll get $500 off of my Finding Freedom From Fear Bootcamp!

Finding Freedom From Fear Bootcamp starts on July 5! Let’s rock this summer with our spiritual practice that brings benefit and healing for all. Now is the time for us to dive deep and eliminate the patterns of fear in our life.


Self-Love Practice

Wednesday, May 13th, 2020

I have a niece and three nephews, plus a goddaughter and other children in my life. Some of them aren’t children anymore. Loving them as they’re growing up, from infancy to adulthood, I’m aware of how completely I Love and accept them, although sometimes I don’t understand or don’t like their choices, the Love I feel is constant and unconditional.

As I observed these beautiful beings coming into my life and “falling in Love” with them, I realized that I was not so loving with myself. Where I wouldn’t judge them at all, I would be very hard on myself for the same behaviors. Having this realization really helped me.

In large part because of my Love for these children, I realized how incredibly hard on myself I was. I made a decision. I decided to do things differently.

I started to treat myself the way I would treat the precious children in my life. I began to practice Self-compassion in a big, big way. It was truy healing and life-changing for me.

One of the techniques that really helped me was to imagine my nephew Alex when he was 3 years old. He was such a cuddly sweet little muffin of a boy. He has a huge heart and so wide-open to life. He was incredibly easy to share Love with and he was very affectionate.

When I would feel upset with myself, I’d think of Alex. Precious boy. And I knew I would never, EVER in a million years yell at that sweet boy or say one unkind word to him. So, I decided to extend to myself the same kindness and compassion.

Again, it’s the decision that’s so important.
We are deciders.
Deciding is how we change our life.

Back in December, 2017, I did two podcast episodes on the topic of the Holy Spirit’s Rules for Decision and you can click to download or listen to that episode here.

Be willing to pause when you’re in a self-attack and think of someone you dearly Love.

Someone who is so completely precious to you. Consider if you’d speak to them the way you’re speaking to yourself.

See if you can begin your self-talk with words like: Darling, sweetheart, precious one.

I would remind myself that I am the Beloved of the THE Beloved and my thoughts are powerful and precious. This one thought was very helpful to me in remembering to have compassion for myself.

Children learn best when they feel safe and loved, not when there’s a threat of punishment. The same is true of adults and ourselves.

Love is our healer.

Compassion is Love.

Love is what we are.

The way to get in touch with our true identity is to value ourselves. It’s not that complicated.

The more loving we are, the more we can tell that the false belief feels false and the more we can notice that the Love feels real. Our willingness greatly improves our ability to recognize the true from the false. If we’re not willing to know the truth, we’ll just keep swimming in the false, until we feel like we’re drowning.

Self-compassion is a practice we can learn until we no longer feel attracted to punishment. The more we practice compassion with others, the easier it is to practice compassion with ourselves and vice versa.

As usual, today’s a good day to practice!